


salt doesn't go with coffee

by teroru



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, im trying, like a really cute FALL IN LOVE WITH ME kind of stuff, one suicidal chapter on five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9347780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teroru/pseuds/teroru
Summary: that day when wonwoo finds out that salt + coffee is a thing is the turning-point of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> srry

second-year in university, that one person who changes it all.

 

it isn’t like wonwoo doesn’t enjoy loud group of friends making obnoxious jokes or sitting in the cafeteria table with a bunch of children (he likes assuming he’s the mature one) with ignored lunches on the round table; laughing like the world means little to them. he just doesn’t enjoy the idea of doing something that draws the blood of energy from his veins.

 

and to make matters worse, he already has a few a close friend who, for the love of god, can’t keep his mouth shut. that person being—boo seungkwan. however, the latter who has been wonwoo’s friend since high school (because the kid is probably a prodigy who skipped a few years and ended up in the same year as wonwoo), who sticks to him until university through thick and thin is definitely someone wonwoo wouldn’t trade for anything.

at times, wonwoo relieves the memory of the first time he has felt so strongly for that one boy in his senior class that apparently ‘belonged’ to everyone. and that’s only because he’s the most vibrant and kind person ever. but fake images are meant to be shattered sooner or later. with a blind-driven force of watching motivational talks on ‘all-kinds of love’ wonwoo made a confession.

 

only to be brushed off by _that’s kind of disgusting_.

 

he has imagined every possible scenario of how he would be rejected by the kindest boy in high school that everyone talks fondly of. but that wasn’t one of his prediction.

and maybe that’s what lead to his agenda of not ever think of standing a chance with one who is everyone’s favourite.

 

to balance the very limited close friends that wonwoo has (which is perhaps only seungkwan) is jeonghan who is quiet and the type who wouldn’t hurt a fly. at least that’s what wonwoo thinks at first. he doesn’t remember when or how did he meet jeonghan, but it was probably that one time when he needed a partner for his presentation and everyone seemed to have someone except that person sitting behind, hair tied together in a ponytail, a weak expression, that wonwoo pitied.

like any probable tactics to get on a good side of someone, wonwoo walks over, a cautious smile on his face when their eyes met and said something along the lines of _want to partner up?_ and instead of a shy, timid ‘sure’ that he calculated many times before approaching all he received was a scowl.

wonwoo had two choices then one was to walk away the other was to ask again but pride was hard to swallow.

so, you can only imagine an already awkward around new people kid sitting next to a person who looked like he could afford a hitman to get you killed over the day. and as days’ progress with wonwoo ranting about how dismissive jeonghan was in tasks to seungkwan, along the ways, somehow, they’ve managed to form a trio of friends that wonwoo likes to say is balanced with an overzealous seungkwan on one side and the secretly sassy jeonghan on the other, where he fits perfectly in between and really, he’s grateful.

 

because honestly, where could he ever find friends who willingly drop their summer breaks to give wonwoo a shoulder to cry on during his parent’s divorce?

it was expected, fights have gotten more often and somehow every fight encountered involved his name in the same sentence with the word ‘homosexual’. who else could he have blamed under than his god damn self. wonwoo expected it, he expected to hear his parents one day unusually calm, sitting on the family dinner table, calling out to him. he expected and yet it did not hurt any less.

in the end, he never knew the reason why they decided to divorce. because even after his parents stopped seeing each other and that wonwoo has officially moved out to stay alone working part time in a convenience store and sometimes freelancing jobs through the internet, his parents who he assumed at young age hated his sexuality, still sends a little allowance and regards to him.

 

sometimes, it comforts him that maybe he wasn’t the reason.

but on darker days and deep, buried beneath all the things he’s been through so far, he knows he was one of the reason; perhaps the biggest reason.

 

this could be the reason why wonwoo decides on the mindset that “everyone will leave anyway.” having a group of friends in high school? so what, in the end they left him anyways after finding out about the whole ‘disgusting’ confession. having parents who he thought he could count on? sike.

 

or even that stray cat that he used to play with in elementary.

 

in the end, he only has himself.

 

***

 

“fuck.”

  
“i don’t think i deserve this much negativity in the early morning,” jeonghan says giving wonwoo a pointed look.

 

“i forgot there’s an a draft due today, i could’ve worked on it but last night i was-“

 

“goodluck,” and the slender boy with a hair flipped paces a little faster, takes a turn and disappears into one of the rooms.

 

wonwoo curses under his breath one more, his legs moving slower than usual as he already dreads the first lecture he has to attend.

 

“relax, the lecturer is old and forgetful, he wouldn’t remember besides he wouldn’t take out marks since you’ve given him a softcopy,” seungkwan assures, “and even if he does catch you not giving a hardcopy, you’d just have to get one more question and write another 1000 words on it.”

 

wonwoo stops in his tracks and eyes giving seungkwan the are-you-for-real, “so you’d write it?”

 

“what? no, i’m not the one who forgot to bring a hardcopy!”

 

with that wonwoo just shakes his head in disbelief, _you said it like it’s the easiest!_ he scolds in his mind but being wonwoo who chooses to not fret over many things, he takes bigger steps leaving seungkwan behind telling him to wait up and asking things like _why’re you so mad in the morning_ wonwoo can only roll his eyes.

 

and of course, he gets call out.

 

as he was cautiously sitting behind the room, trying to seriously blend with the wall, some kid in the front row reminds the old man to do a count on the physical hardcopies. wonwoo swears, if jails did not exist he could’ve jumped the kid right now, give him a punch that’s going to send him directly to Satan.

 

“that damn brat,” he seethes.

 

seungkwan sitting beside him becomes more anxious for the oblivious half-american kid than wonwoo getting called out in the class.

 

“jeon wonwoo,” the lecturer calls and looks directly at wonwoo.

 

***

 

it isn’t like him to be this clumsy, one thing happened after another, first it’s the draft.

then one of his client from his freelance decided to stop the project wonwoo spent the night working on when he could’ve been working on the physical hardcopy so he wouldn’t have to receive another 1000 words penalty. exasperated of the events which is small in number but large in terms of emotional effects, he strides over quick and fast, to the vending machine before his next class.

a box of juice to cheer himself up, is what he had in mind. having some small changes in his pockets, it took him a while to process that the last coin he was about to slip into the vending machine gone into another dimension, gone and never to be seen again.

as if the world is playing a cruel trick on him, he receives a note from his manager in the convenience store where he was part-timing at to come in on coming friday night to fill in for a sick co-worker. he deadpans. friday night is the time he spends on his couch, finally a time where he could sit alone, with some snacks, eyes glued to his favourite variety show.

wonwoo looks around, everyone was busy, moving fast, carrying papers, chatters about the upcoming projects. the time ticking seemed to get closer and louder and all he wanted to do, is to literally combust and leave no ashes or dust of his remains in the earth. perhaps it seems over exaggerated, but at this point he’s down with two choices of emotions. he either remain cool or take a detour into heaven or furiously put his head into a wall.

 

he was done, either way, he has to leave this mayhem.

 

so off he goes, skipping the remaining classes of the day.

 

***

 

he could go to many places to calm down, he could’ve gone to the nearby park to photosynthesize like a true plant or the cinema even. but, he ends up in a fast food restaurant sitting down, a tray on the table; a beef burger, fries and coffee.

 

_simplicity._

little did he know, this ‘simplicity’ decision could have his life upside-down.

there are a few people around his age loitering around the place, well, it is almost lunch time but wonwoo likes complaining about little things in his mind while looking completely uncaring on the outside.

diving straight into the burger and almost feeling his adrenaline dropping to constant, wonwoo thinks _this is it, this is how you calm someone down; with food._ the taste of the beef in his mouth as he chews slowly pushes the events of the day so far to the back of his mind—making the disastrous day bearable.

as if he has no worries. that the day was just fine. no penalties essay or pennies underneath the vending machine or jeonghan dismissing him. it’s all good.

with much delicacy, he picks the cup of coffee up and takes a sip of it, only to grimace at the bitterness. remembering that he had forgotten to take the packs of sugar on the self-service counter.

 

“damn i-,” he scolds under his breath before getting interrupted by a sachet what he assums to look so oddly similar to a sachet of salt shoved in front of his face from his right.

 

“here.”

 

wonwoo blinks, once and twice, before he takes the sachet with the tips of his finger. he reads the sachet and clearly the label in blue printed countless time on the small sachet reads salt, salt, salt. _is this guy for real?_ he questions.

 

he looks over to his right, eyes yelling what the fuck, the sachet now on the tips of finger held up in ridicule.

 

“i’m- what- what is this?”

 

“um, salt?” the other says, a sheepish smile elucidating that maybe he thinks wonwoo is dumb. and with that smile wonwoo takes note of how this person here, has a really toothy smile with both canines proudly showing and honestly, that’s a little cute but what the fuck a sachet of salt????

 

wonwoo looks at the sachet in his hands again, and he thinks he should probably dismiss the whole thing like what a normal civilian would do when encountering something as odd as this, but something in wonwoo’s mind tugs, this spark that makes him want to protest. so he turns over eyes meeting the stranger again, and this time wonwoo takes in the stranger’s appearance as a whole.

 

_oh fuck._

 

he’s attractive, wonwoo may be stubborn and in many cases lazy, uncaring and tired. but he can tell so well, between what is attractive and what is not, and this one, this person sitting on his right, who just handed him a sachet of salt for his coffee that is probably getting lukewarm by now is good looking. and he did that sheepish smile again.

 

“stop smiling,” wonwoo absent-mindedly comments, and almost immediately the smile disappears turning into confusion, wonwoo almost planted his face in the soil, “i mean,” he tries.

 

“life hack,” the other interrupts, “to lose the bitterness but keep the other flavours of your coffee, instead of masking it with sugar just add a pinch of salt.”

 

then he proceeds to pushes his hair a little, and wonwoo notices how well black hair suited his face. it falls over on his forehead above his eyes perfectly, not too silky but just right. and wonwoo wanted to scream because first of all, damn! did he just score or what? and second, he’s such a nerd.

 

but all these emotions only takes part inside his head, all he could muster in reality is to stare blankly at the stranger who once again is showing his really dorky smile.

 

“i’m sorry, that’s not how i take my coffee and i think you should stop pushing your belief on others who,” he stops, _man this chattering i’m doing, seungkwan!!!_ “but thanks anyway, for the offer.”

 

what wonwoo calculates in his mind is for the ridiculously good looking person to stop whatever he’s trying to help/prove.

 

“let me help you, trust me.”

 

and with that the cup of coffee is lifted from wonwoo’s tray, it happens so quickly, he couldn’t even complain. the sachet of salt is ripped open messily, some grains falling on the ground some on the stranger’s tray. wonwoo yelps.

 

the stirrer dips into the cup and wonwoo feels his own eyes visibly twitching as he watches and feels on a spiritual level—salt dissolving in his coffee. _is this guy for real?!_ he asks himself the second time in the event except this time filled with tens times of confusion.

 

the cup of coffee is handed back to wonwoo, and he could only stare at the swirling motions of the black liquid; dumbfounded.

 

then he hears it, the sounds of the angels calling he turns his head around so quick to see the stranger laughing. wonwoo concludes the day is really horrible but man he could take 10 bad days to listen (or to look at) someone like this.

the stranger sitting next to him wears a black and white striped long sleeve, hair above his eyes, and his eyes in a crinkle laughing, canines baring in public. soon after, the laughter dies down and he brings his elbow on the table, face resting on his palm and looks at wonwoo.

lips forming in a thin lined smile and his eyes curves a little like he was adoring the love of his life (except he’s looking at wonwoo), “try it!”

 

wonwoo is almost dead, first of all this boy, this dude, this man, this stranger sitting next to him is fucking good looking, he just had a bad day, someone polluted his coffee.

but his hands outstretched and took the coffee in his palms.

 

the smile grew and wonwoo’s chest tighten.

_i am so smitten._


	2. Chapter 2

wonwoo knows that he has two things to regret about, one is the fact that he skipped one of his important lectures, two is probably the idea of actually drinking the cup of coffee.

 

but maybe the second isn’t really considered as a regret, the coffee doesn’t taste entirely bad, it didn’t taste as bitter as before, only hints of saltiness remains in his tongue. to put it bluntly, it wouldn’t be considered as pleasant as well.

“so…?”

wonwoo doesn’t know for what his sharp intake of breath is for but it hit right on the roof of soft palate and before he could give comments, he’s choking on air. coughing quite disgracefully, he holds up a hand in the air as he tries to speak through his coughing fit.

“i think you put too much salt,” he says at last before exchanging a queer look with the other.

 

“what? no way!” the other argues, already moving and taking the cup from wonwoo’s hands.

the tips of fingers connecting with the back of wonwoo’s hands in short moment has wonwoo floating back into his reality. jeon wonwoo, the guy who wouldn’t even budge when someone accuses him of copying his assignment because he’s too lazy to argue and he is always sure that he has more evidence in his hand to show authorities that the work was indeed his to begin with, is here sitting with a complete stranger discussing and experimenting on coffee with salt.

 

weird.

 

wonwoo observes the other’s nose scrunching up in displeased and turning over to look apologetically at him, “sorry, think i may have put too much, was supposed to be a pinch.”

 

wonwoo stares at him. his eyes twitching as he raises his index finger pointing at the half-emptied sachet of salt, “that does not look very ‘a-pinch’.”

 

all he receives is another sheepish smile, “so um,” he starts shyly, “i’m kim mingyu.”

 

“i didn’t ask,” wonwoo retorts.

 

“oh, i just—“

 

“i was just joking, i’m wonwoo,” he clears his throat, “jeon wonwoo.”

 

+++

 

days passed by quickly when you’re flooded with work and work and more work. so, it’s only common sense that wonwoo is making a trip down the street again, eyes searching for sweet blessings to clench his stress over the weeks. normally, he would’ve gone on the frozen yogurt down the street but just out of the corner of his eyes, a height that caught his attention has his heartbeat pulsating and his feet stopping in tracks.

 

“what the fuck,” jeonghan curses as he runs into wonwoo’s back abruptly. his eyes following the direction of wonwoo’s.

they’re both looking at mingyu now across the street with a group of people. mingyu is wearing a plain white t-shirt with black jeans, simple and yet he stood out in the crowd, hair combed back today so wonwoo could take a good look on his face. and wonwoo must confess, mingyu certainly looks stunning.

 

“what are you,” jeonghan asks, “fawning over a boy who doesn’t even know your name?”

 

“what boy?” seungkwan pipes in, eyes squinting in the direction as well, “which one guys?” he asks; hands on wonwoo’s shoulder.

 

with three boys standing and staring daggers in a direction can raise many questions, but people would disregard it, weird things tend to happen every now and then anyway, a common trend.

though not weird to anyone but enough for mingyu to raise his eyesight to meet wonwoo. he smiles broadly, teeth blaring out reacting like the situation was a miracle. but when wonwoo wouldn’t budge, eyes stuck  on him, mind left somewhere deep in the cup of coffee they shared, mingyu does a double-take, looking behind him like an idiot (a cute one, wonwoo remarks) thinking if wonwoo was staring at something else behind him.

 

he looks back again and this time acknowledging jeonghan and seungkwan’s presence, he mouths a silent ‘yes?’

and wonwoo visibly gulps. he’d only talked to mingyu that one time in the fast food restaurant, they never exchange numbers, they haven’t exchange any form of greeting, hell he hasn’t even seen mingyu once since that ‘bad’ day. so why is he getting butterflies in his stomach.

 

“dude, he wants the tall one in his pants,” seungkwan remarks, earning a snicker from jeonghan.

the comment makes its way into wonwoo’s system, snapping himself out of his trance as he turns around to look at seungkwan, glaring his life down every second before storming away half-angrily and half in awe.

 

“yeah ditch us!” jeonghan yells behind, but follows wonwoo anyway.

 

“i’m not,” wonwoo stops in mid-sentence, turning around, his eyes falling on mingyu again, “ditching!” mingyu once again directs his gaze at wonwoo, this time wonwoo smiles back.

 

wonwoo makes a mental note that mingyu has quite a lot of friends and considering the fact that he was nearly swamped by girls around him, he must be well-liked.

 

+++

 

two days later, wonwoo is battling against his own denial.

he settles with i don’t like him, i just have a good feeling about him.

but of course, his friends never shut up about mingyu ever since.

they’re sitting by the cafeteria table, it’s three in the afternoon so the cafeteria is rather empty and quiet enough for wonwoo’s liking.

 

“look, i’m not in love okay,” wonwoo sighs exasperatedly for the fifth time while stabbing the last piece of pancake.

 

“you shouldn’t put your hopes up, he doesn’t even know your name,” jeonghan comments thoughtfully and he does this twirl with his fork in the air.

 

“he does know my name…”

 

“so, you’re saying that you’re in loove with him?” seungkwan chimes, dragging the o.

 

“i—“

 

“i saw your blush!!!”

 

wonwoo could only roll his eyes. he decides that he should just let it slide. until seungkwan speaks again, “well you can see him in jeonghan’s art class.”

 

“what?” jeonghan and wonwoo asks in unison. both eyeing one another. “he’s in this school?”

 

“wow, you guys are dumb as hell… he’s an art major student, pretty damn famous, everybody likes him,” seungkwan answers then taking a deep breath and he made a motion as if he’s flipping through his book of stalking evidences, peers up from his non-existent glasses, “kim mingyu right?”

 

wonwoo nods blankly, “yeah, so…”

 

“yeah, there’s no mistaking, even some people from my film and media classes know about him, well you’ve got to admit that he’s got looks and stuff, like i’m saying if i curve that way, i would curve his way and i’ve also heard him had dates with girls and stuff so—“

 

“hello wonwoo.”

 

wonwoo nearly spits at seungkwan at the sight of the person behind him. both said friends turn around raising their heads only to see a tall, attractive mingyu. mingyu doesn’t falter, he held his stance, undisturbed by the rude stares as he nods in acknowledgement, “hello wonwoo’s friends.”

  
“are you sure he’s in my art class?” jeonghan asks again as if mingyu isn’t standing right in front.

 

“i am, i sit behind you though, well you always take the front seat,” mingyu says casually, smiling again. he looks over to wonwoo expectantly, like he’s waiting for a reply.

 

“uh… hi,” wonwoo says softly. “so… is there something you want from me?”

 

mingyu, for a second, looks like he’s thinking hard, “well, no, i just thought i wanted to say hello.”

 

“oh,” the three friends say together.

 

mingyu quirks an eyebrow, “am i missing something here?” he laughs nervously.

 

“well—“ seungkwan starts before wonwoo raises his voice abruptly, “nothing! w-we uh… we just didn’t expect to see you here, i mean it’s a rare sight to see you around because yeah, we totally weren’t talking abo—“

 

“wonwoo, just shut up,” jeonghan hisses.

 

and wonwoo does, it’s then he realizes he hasn’t been breathing well, and damn, why is his heart beating so quickly. none of them spoke then, just sharing glances with each other awkwardly.

 

then mingyu shrugs putting two of his hands in the pockets of his jeans, a small smile emerging on his vibrant face again, “well, i guess i’ll leave now…” he says slowly and pretends to turn around to look at the wall clock.

 

wonwoo gulps, he wants to say something, but his chest is leaping and his stomach hurts.

 

“i’ll see you around then, wonwoo,” mingyu declares later.

 

“y-yeah, see you around too wonwoo,” wonwoo replies and before he could realize he just called his own name and looked like a complete idiot, mingyu’s already chuckling. “i meant to well, i didn’t, you, i meant to say mingyu.”

 

wonwoo is honestly trying hard to hold his composure but all these stuttering isn’t helping and the grins from his friends are definitely not helpful.

 

“yeah, bye,” mingyu manages before waving and turning around, striding and disappearing from wonwoo’s eyesight.

 

“look, i’m not in love okay,” seungkwan mocks.

 

“shut the f—‘

 

“i-i-i meant to say mingyu,” jeonghan mocks, voice in a higher pitch than usual.

 

“i do not sound like that.”

 

“have you seen yourself? people would’ve thought you peed in your pants. nice try in lying, but try harder,” jeonghan smirks and it makes seungkwan laugh harder than he’s supposed to; hands repeatedly slapping on jeonghan’s arms as his eyes turns into little crescents.

 

“disgusting,” wonwoo mumbles under his breath as he sets the his fork down, giving up on the last piece of pancake.

 

later, a little voice in wonwoo’s head admits that he’s quite very fond of mingyu.

 

+++

 

it also doesn’t help the fact that nowadays, mingyu seems to walk pass wonwoo more in the corridors, hallways, by the vending machine, basically around the campus. the event also intensifies the cooing, grinning and smug looks done by both his friends. wonwoo really is thankful for them, but in this moment, he wants to crush the both of them until their remains no longer exist in the surface of the earth.

 

he makes it to his morning lectures on time, sat in the class, doodling and taking notes. today’s nothing special, except that seungkwan and jeonghan both have a small test to sit for so that leaves wonwoo alone until late noon when they’ve decided to have dinner together before his night shift begins. he’s got plenty of some peaceful time alone now that seungkwan’s no longer saying unnecessary things or jeonghan giving smug looks to wonwoo whenever he spaces out.

 

by nine, wonwoo is walking towards the vending machine, praying that no pennies will go missing again.

 

he’s almost at the vending machine before he notices a familiar side profile by the said machine.

it’s not like wonwoo cares about his appearance a lot, but somehow his hands absentmindedly reached for his hair and straightened his shirt a little, clearing his throat as he walks forwards.

 

“hey,” he says trying to sound casual but unfortunately his voice cracks a little and he flushes a light pink because oh god oh god, is mingyu going to judge him, he clears his throat again “mingyu.”

 

mingyu turns to the side, almost beaming at wonwoo, “good morning,” he greets brightly.

 

and wonwoo notices two things, first is that he and mingyu are the complete opposites; he could definitely not greet someone that happily in the early morning, especially since it’s in the campus when he could be still fast asleep on his warm bed and not having to deal with people or assignments (seriously these two things need to have a term since they bring similar sufferings). the second is that mingyu was holding onto his phone and that its cover was decorated with little pandas.

 

“so, what are you up to wonwoo?”

 

wonwoo shudders at how his name rolled out of mingyu’s tongue, “buying packet juice,” he replies blankly.

 

mingyu chuckles, “which one i’ll get it for you still got some change in my purchase.”

 

he starts listing the name of the juices out while pointing cutely on the glass, wonwoo gets lost at the first juice’s name (probably is watermelon) because now he’s staring at mingyu’s fixation on the vending machine and he wonders what should he do next? should he just stand around and talk somemore? should he just pretend to have class? what if he becomes awkward again?

 

“so… which one do you want?”

 

he freezes on the spot and before his brain could think twice, “number 5,” earning a raised eyebrow from mingyu.

 

“i didn’t know people drink that,” he remarks, the machine makes a beeping sound as the packet of juice rolls away from its colony and falls on the collection with a thud, “well, now i know one person.”

 

wonwoo almost died when he felt mingyu’s hands on his hands. a warmth starts spreading across his cheeks and he prays to god for mingyu to not realize the slight tremble on the tips of his fingers as he placed the packet of juice in wonwoo’s palm.

 

their eyes meet again, first time standing and looking like they have a proper conversation, “um, thanks.”

 

“yeah, no worries,” mingyu replies benevolently, like it’s the most natural thing to offer packet of juice to someone at nine in the morning.

 

he looks at wonwoo expectantly again the same way he did back in the cafeteria and wonwoo thinks ok this must be the time for him to speak up, maybe he could ask something like when’s your next class or if he has enough guts he could ask to spend lunch together or even exchange numbers, but being wonwoo he gapes and says, “you’re a great person, i owe you.” and not to mention with his tight expression, he looks dead ass serious.

 

mingyu laughs, harder than necessary probably, “don’t say that so seriously, it was just a packet of juice.”

 

wonwoo smiles a little, he was still tense as hell but hearing mingyu’s laugh makes his heart churned and he felt light-headed but still managed a “i’m being honest.”

 

“yeah,” mingyu chuckles; shaking his head (cutely), “well i better get running to my class now.”

 

wonwoo sobers a little, he’d had hoped they could talk a little more. but he gave nod, the grip around the packet juice tightens in disappointment.

 

“i’ll see around then, wonwoo?”

 

it takes a while for him to realize that the taller does perhaps want to engage in a longer conversation with him the next time, at least that’s what the ‘see you around’ question seemed to be for wonwoo, so he cheers up a little and nods, smiling for the first time of the day, “yeah.”

 

mingyu grins back, and then before long he’s gone in the sea of people rushing around the campus.

 

it’s then, wonwoo takes a look at the packet of juice, the shape—a little disoriented by the squeezes, but thankfully it didn’t pop because that would’ve been embarrassing.

on the label, clear arial font words written in purple and bolded read “PRUNE JUICE”. wonwoo mentally slaps himself, he doesn’t even like prunes.

then his eyes would shift to his hands, that mingyu has held for a short while back then, he feels giddy again. before he could make any logical plans, he fishes his phone out and opens the chat room with the title “seungkwan is really cool” and types furiously.

              

so,

i just met mingyu.

we talked a little.

he bought me packet juice, held my hand for a while.

i mean nothing too physical you know just grabbed it for a bit.

and now i’m drinking prune juice.

 

(seungkwan)

what?????????

you don’t even like prunes???

(jeonghan)

love really makes us blind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 2608
> 
> i like the concept of shy wonwoo a lot /////// not a very informative chapter, but i just wanted to show the little progress made (and maybe i like writing about a flustered wonwoo and a smiling mingyu). honestly do people plan their work? like i literally only had the idea of salt and coffee and how the ending is going to pan out i literally do not have any plans of what the hell is going to happen in between. lmao ok. i’ll try to make every chapter with almost the same length and update frequently haha. thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

it’s that period of time, when everyone is literally dragging themselves to get through the semester. the amount of work seems to have dragged the earth’s orbit slower because really time is going by too slowly, and it feels like there’s no progress with work at all. not to mention that wonwoo also has a portfolio to hand in and grades to maintain. honestly, life is just cruel.

 

“i’m going to get coffee,” wonwoo announces after a few hours of silent burial of him and his two friends, who already looked like they’re about to lose their mind.

jeonghan just dismissively waves at wonwoo to go as his eyes bore holes on his sketch board adding fine details to his last portfolio of the semester while seungkwan sits unmoving eyes glued to the slides in his laptop, his brown bear pencil tapping gently against the spread of textbooks.

 

sometimes wonwoo wonders how do they get along well when they are differently-opinionated in terms of their majors (not in mind because both seungkwan and jeonghan are just plain evil).

 

wonwoo majored in civil engineering mainly because he was influenced by how well his father did in the field, jeonghan (you could tell) was a really artsy-fartsy person, and seungkwan well, a huge nerd (a cool one i guess) with his interest in medicals and a strong bond with chemistry. they literally do not share any classes except for some supplementary or compulsory lectures that they have to engage in as students.

 

it’s times like this that wonwoo feels a strong sense of admiration and gratefulness towards the two of his (closest) friends, he thinks as he walks pass corners and getting to the coffee machine. he isn’t very good with starting off topics with strangers, wasn’t very sociable (well he is sociable, just really weird and quirky and most people will stride off after a while), he’s good in cracking jokes though (but jeonghan says he sucks), and at times like these when everyone huddles around studying in groups he would have two of his best friends. it isn’t like he’s afraid of being alone, wonwoo to be honest, appreciates solitary, it’s just, if you were to put solitary and existential crisis together (which wonwoo experiences a lot when its ‘that’ point in semester) he would rather have his friends around than to struggle alone.

 

he grabs a hold of his coffee and walked further down to the empty bench by the open area, sits down with a huff as he tries to cool his coffee and mind at the same time. wonwoo watches the twirling motion of the black condensed liquid in the white paper cup, swirling and swirling, and somehow the sense of familiarity settled in his chest, heaving quietly, the scattered remembrances seem to bring him at ease as he remembers his first encounter with mingyu.

 

“what a weird guy,” he whispers to himself, unknowingly grinning.

 

the cold breeze sends wonwoo chills down his spine and he thought that perhaps he has been slacking too much (actually been sitting there day dreaming for almost an hour). he gets up hastily, the cup of coffee half emptied and swings around about to half-run back to the discussion room he came from before he aggressively bumps into another person.

 

“what the fuc—,” there’s a shriek enunciating from his throat that is surprisingly low for a shriek and wonwoo backs up, one and two steps. the coffee is definitely going to stain his shirt and also it really burns.

 

“shit, sorry!”

 

wonwoo would be lying if he says he isn’t angry, but when he hears mingyu’s voice, he really couldn’t bring himself to be angry (ok maybe he was sort of angry but not _that_ angry), “wow, didn’t see you there.”

 

“oh my god, it’s going to stain, i only walked over because i saw you sitting here, and i wanted to say hi but you sort of turned around real quick, i’m sorry,” mingyu keeps apologizing and he’s doing this really weird gesture over wonwoo’s coffee stained shirt without actually making contact with him.

 

wonwoo notices that the tips of his fingertips are covered in various acrylic paints and colours. probably why he’s doing that, for a moment they stood there with mingyu apologizing frantically. seeing mingyu this flustered did quite a boosting on wonwoo’s confidence as he lets out a full-blown laughter.

 

“somehow, our meetings are always filled with beverages, it’s kind of ridiculous,” he says in between laughter, finally speaking a proper sentence after so much stuttering.

 

mingyu straightens his back a little, bringing his hand over to the lower part of his face and chuckled along, the smears of what seemed to be charcoal on his palms is more visible now. “are you still staying in campus?”

 

“actually, yeah, i was just going back to the discussion room.”

 

“well, okay, take my hoodie,” mingyu says and he raises both of his hands up in the air, looks at wonwoo expectantly.

 

“what?” wonwoo deadpans.

 

“take my hoodie? and change? i mean you can’t go back like that, right?”

 

“u-uh, i—ok, i guess,” wonwoo lets a low chuckle, unsure of what kind of expression he should wear.

 

his mind is making such loud alarm noises, because wait, this sort of feels like sharing boyfriend things? wait, is it even appropriate to think so? before he could internally gush over the fact that mingyu is offering his hoodie, the taller does a gesture again, ushering wonwoo to take his hoodie.

 

“my hands are a mess now, so i can’t really take it off myself.”

 

wonwoo wants to decline the offer because it’s so much hassle and he may have an extra shirt somewhere in his bag or locker or something, but the idea of having something that so personally belonged to mingyu thrilled him to bits, “okay,” he says confidently this time, setting the ¼ cup of coffee on the bench.

 

“here we go,” wonwoo cheers, breaking mingyu into a train of laughter as wonwoo removed the black hoodie.

 

it gets over his head pretty easily, but then they have to struggle to not get the edge of the sleeves in paints as well. and somehow, they end up both, face a few centimetres away from one and another, eyes train on removing the sleeves from mingyu’s arms. wonwoo could distinctively smell the woody aroma of canvas, charcoal and oil paint and a hint of ripe sweet peach, which is really, really alluring.

 

“don’t worry the hoodie is clean, i swear,” mingyu jokes calmly as he focuses on squirming the rest of his hands out.

 

wonwoo could only let out a breathy laugh while holding on to the hoodie and focus more on controlling his breathing because damn, they’re quite close to the point that he could see the small mole under mingyu’s cheekbones on the left side of his gorgeous, gorgeous side profile.

 

before what feels like eternity of blessings, mingyu moves, makes a swift movement as wonwoo held onto the hoodie.

 

“great and done,” he says giving that victorious toothy smile that wonwoo really, really, adores. “so, i’m guessing you’re pretty hardworking on your portfolios and stuff?”

 

“yeah,” wonwoo sighs, “good work.”

 

“must be hard.”

 

“i could say the same about you, you’re a good-looking mess,” wonwoo replies gesturing at mingyu, and he’s true to his words, mingyu’s hair now dishevelled from the hoodie actions and his hands aren’t exactly clean, his light blue shirt that was underneath his hoodie is slightly wrinkled too.

 

“um, thanks?” mingyu chuckles, shyly covering the small playing smile on his face while he diverts his gaze to coffee left on the bench.

 

wonwoo deadpans before he realizes he has just straight-out hit on mingyu and this is only their third (kind of) proper conversation and before he could make a cool joke (or actually try to make a cool joke) about the statement, mingyu has already spoken, “you’re not bad yourself, with your white button-up,” he laughs softly, “except that i may have ruined it.”

 

there is a series of nervous chuckles from wonwoo and he could visibly see the worry in mingyu’s eyes commenting on his weird demeanour. who could he blame? did his crush just call him good looking? wonwoo shakes his head, tries to hold onto the remaining of his ‘man’ composure, “art,” he sings songs, opening his arms in the air.

 

it looks lame and embarrassing, and people are starting to stare but it makes mingyu laugh.

so, it’s cool.

 

just then, there’s a light buzzing from wonwoo’s phone; a text from jeonghan.

 

(jeonghan)

can you get me milk bun?

 

wonwoo groans, he wants to stay a little longer but now he’s reminded of responsibilities.

 

“gotta go?” mingyu asks.

 

“yeah, my portfolio is going to drag me to hell if i don’t and jeonghan just ordered food.”

 

mingyu nods silently, “well, better get change first.”

 

“you’re right.”

 

“see you then, i’ll have to get back to the art block.”

 

“what? isn’t that the other building, why are you all the way here?”

 

“just thought,” there’s a pause, “i could catch a glance of you or something.”

 

mingyu says it so easily, at this point, wonwoo isn’t sure if he’s just plainly flirting from before or is that his natural act. confused and unable to string a complete sentence, he chooses the option to stay silent. he tries to force a laughter, but all he could manage is to stare blankly at mingyu with his heart racing at an unhealthy rate. mingyu seems to be playing with his shoes, kicking around the dirt before he shies away with a quick see you around before he runs.

 

wonwoo swore, that he definitely saw the pink shades on both of mingyu’s cheeks.

 

+++++

 

he gets back to the discussion room, the coffee stained shirt underneath his arm that’s carrying jeonghan’s milk bun.

 

“wow, you came back as a changed person,” seungkwan notices the black hoodie, peering from above his laptop.

 

“it’s mingyu’s,” wonwoo answers proudly.

 

he raises both of his arms in the air, and gives himself a self-hug, breathing in the scent of mingyu from the black sleeves, there’s one thing that he could confirmed today, that the ripe sweet peachy scent is definitely from mingyu himself. the sleeves were a little long on wonwoo but just the way he likes it.

 

“wow,” jeonghan says flatly.

 

“must’ve been a great date,” seungkwan chimes.

 

“what? no, he just bumped into me and i accidentally spilt coffee—“

 

“bumped? he should be in the art block today, doesn’t his batch have fine art visualization today?” jeonghan asks, voice raising suspicion.

 

“that’s the thing!!” wonwoo says while pulling his chair next to jeonghan eagerly, expression mimicking the scene from despicable me’s ‘it’s so fluffy’. “i did ask him what was he doing all the way here and guess what?”

 

“what? what?” seungkwan asks excitedly, already pulling his chair next to wonwoo, eyes glimmering with excitement.

 

“he was like,” wonwoo clears his throat, “just thought i could catch a glance of you or something.”

 

“wooooooow,” seungkwan coos clapping his hands and simultaneously shaking his head, “i don’t know about you guys, but sounds pretty hella gay to me.”

 

“which is good for wonwoo apparently,” jeonghan adds, and finally a less mocking and a more genuine happy-for-you kind of smile.

 

“he got the hots for you, doesn’t he?” seungkwan asks again, this kid literally has more questions than wonwoo.

 

“well, i did accidentally called him a good-looking mess…”

 

“accidentally?” jeonghan scoffs.

 

“it just slipped right out okay.”

 

“did you go to get coffee or were you just out-right flirting with mingyu?”

 

“i went to get coffee!!!” wonwoo argues, flustered. “the thing is, i don’t know if he was saying it for real, or did he meant it in a more playful way, you know, because of what i said.”

 

“don’t think too much into it,” jeonghan advices shaking his head. “just go with the flow.”

 

“he was very cute, we were standing real close because—“

 

“ok, shut up and get back to work.”

 

“tell me! tell me about it!”

 

“shut up seungkwan!”

 

the afternoon goes by smoothly, and wonwoo feels strangely alive, considering that it is the season of death in the semester’s period. every now and then, he would lift the sleeves of the black hoodie up and rest his face on it, thinking that he would love to see mingyu painting, he’s sure the sight will be the best.

 

that night, he gets back to his dorm room, squealing about the event.

 

++++

 

“seriously, why don’t you just go into my class and call him out yourself?”

 

“because—“

 

“why do i have to tell him that you told me to tell him that you want to meet him outside the class now when he is literally there?”

 

“please, for the sake of one of your closest friend’s happiness!” wonwoo begs, pulling the close friend card out.

 

jeonghan rolls his eyes, irritated of course but thankfully gave in, “ok, wait here.”

 

the reason is easy, art people are intimidating. and wonwoo honestly has little confidence around people who are creative and are born with talents. sometimes, life is quite unfair.

 

he peeks into the room from a corner seeing jeonghan, half stomping over to mingyu who had his back faced against wonwoo, shoulders slouching a little as he sat on a stool; legs crossed and balancing a palette with smudges of colours on top with another hand holding onto a brush, a large canvas and a painting of what seemed to be a scenery of an old English building, wonwoo could tell that mingyu’s really talented. even with little information of art, he could feel the synthetic swirls of brushes dotting over the lilac sky, the reflection of the river by the street and the defined buildings illuminated a sense of loneliness. it’s absolutely breath-taking.

 

“hey,” jeonghan calls out.

 

mingyu’s expression resembles a frightened puppy for a moment because who wouldn’t be afraid of a senior who looks like jeonghan to be honest.

 

“wonwoo wants to see you,” jeonghan says with little emotions, pointing at wonwoo who is peeking by the door.

 

mingyu turns around and for that moment, wonwoo couldn’t tell which was more beautiful, mingyu’s painting or mingyu himself or mingyu’s really cute surprised face.

 

when he snaps back to reality, mingyu has already gotten up from his stool and is already making his way to wonwoo, his grip around the paper bag with mingyu’s black hoodie (washed with a lot of reluctance because then it would have meant he had to get rid of mingyu’s scent) tightens.

 

“hey,” mingyu croaks and he lets himself laugh at his own voice later clearing his throat, “morning, wonwoo.”

 

“good morning.”

 

mingyu’s hair isn’t combed back today, he let it flow above his eyes like their first encounter, though the bags underneath his eyes look heavier than before and fatigue is definitely chasing him close behind. wonwoo is glad that he made the choice to put a pack of natural milk in the paper bag with mingyu’s hoodie.

 

“just wanted to return this, i washed it too,” he says, trying to sound as casual as possible so nobody notices about his little pout that he has to return the hoodie and handing over the paper bag.

 

“thanks, um,” mingyu starts, hesitation lulling around his voice.

 

“yes?”

 

“i was just wondering if you’re interested in a concert,” mingyu says slowly and waits for wonwoo’s respond when he gets none he continues, “i got these two tickets, and none of my friends are interested in it, well i’m not saying you will be interested but i’m saying maybe you’d be interested? so i’m like asking first.”

 

wonwoo blinks taken aback by how much mingyu’s fidgeting, “what band?”

 

“the naked and famous.”

 

“what, none of your friends wants to go?” wonwoo raises his voice slightly.

 

mingyu seems even more nervous because now his absent-mindedly ruffling his hair, and wonwoo should probably stop him because he’s smearing little smudges of paint on his face and hair. “you don’t have to…”

with mingyu looking that dejected, it brings wonwoo in a circle of nervousness.

 

“w-wait, i didn’t meant it that way,” wonwoo interrupts, “i’d love to go.”

 

mingyu’s beaming again, happiness is so contagious, because it literally has wonwoo beaming back (and wonwoo does not beam a lot especially when it’s in the early morning). “well by next week everyone’s assignments and portfolios would be, over right?”

 

even though the weight of his portfolio is heavy on both his shoulders, the idea of going to a concert with mingyu made the tough journey worth it. wonwoo nods, “um you should probably stop touching your hair, you’ve got like paint on your hair and face,” motioning on a part of his face to show where the smeared paint was.

 

“oh,” mingyu says in realization; a little embarrassed. he brings his hands over to his face to try to remove the paint but only to made it worse.

 

“that,” wonwoo says reaching over to hold onto mingyu’s wrist, it was warm just like the feeling pooling around his stomach, “just made it worse.”

 

“right,” mingyu chuckles, “i should probably clean it in the washroom.”

 

“you should,” wonwoo says still holding onto mingyu’s wrist.

 

“yeah, um…” mingyu’s eyes falls on his wrist. at that, wonwoo jerks back letting go of the wrist, warmth seeping out from his cheeks again. from the corner of his eyes he could see jeonghan shaking his head with a teasing smirk. _shit._

 

“sorry.”

 

“no need to be,” mingyu laughs gleefully, “if you don’t mind we could exchange numbers so i could tell you more about the things because i’m quite sure that you’re running late for your morning class.”

 

“shit!” wonwoo curses as he takes a peek at the wall clock over mingyu’s shoulder.

 

“here, just key in your number real quick,” mingyu says handing over his phone, the familiar panda casing, over to wonwoo.

 

wonwoo does as told, his heart’s racing so quickly. he’s actually getting a hold of a way to contact mingyu, literally what the fuck is going on. just few weeks ago, they were talking about fucking coffee and salt and just few weeks ago, wonwoo was gushing over him. and now, he’s running late to his lecture. wonwoo tries to keep his fingers from trembling from excitement, but hearing mingyu’s soft hm-hm chuckles, he’s already defeated.

 

he hands the phone back and shouts a goodbye to jeonghan and later a soft see you around to mingyu before trotting off in another direction far from the art block. if he has turned around, he could’ve witnessed mingyu adoringly staring at his phone. but man, wonwoo would’ve been blinded by his own feelings to tell anyways.

 

++++

 

(mingyu) 09 45

hi!

this is mingyu!

 

(mingyu) 10 05

:)

thanks for the milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words count: 3166
> 
> yeah about that part when i said i’d try to keep chapters’ length equal. lol
> 
> anyway, a rather quick update this month like a double update for february?! a little worried for the next update, because my semester is starting and so there goes my fun time. and also, if you haven’t noticed…. i’ve written a new oneshot on meanie (because i’m such A FCKing trsAH, SOMEONE JUST DELETE ME ALREADY) it's called a dork with the internet i don't usually self-advertised (i may be lying???) but i honestly have so much fun writing this oneshot because men,, oneshots are so fun to write and chaptered fictions are so scary!  
> i'm sorry that if theres any confusion done, i'm trying to keep track of my brain
> 
> thanks for reading this chapter, leave some comments because (honestly, it keeps me going, its like fuel) i always screech and squeak when i read comments idk never gets old man.
> 
> ps: did anyone notice the double texting? i did ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi lovely beginning, pls pay attention of the notes at the end thanks!

“stop texting mingyu, will you?”

 

“i’m not texting him,” wonwoo denies quite matter of factly, showing his phone screen to jeonghan.

 

“liar!” seungkwan accuses, “i saw your phone yesterday and he texted you good morning don’t forget the concert tomorrow!”

 

“yeah only because there’s a concert tomorrow.”

 

he sees jeonghan rolling his eyes again, “have you been texting him or not?”

 

there’s a quiet pause as both seungkwan and jeonghan eyes wonwoo ridiculously, “…yes.”

 

then seungkwan starts blabbering some nonsense that wonwoo has already started tuning out of. he and mingyu had quite a week filled with subtle texts. sometimes, it will be something that reminded him of wonwoo or vice versa. sometimes, it would just be plain things about the upcoming concert or things like how did his portfolio go. it isn’t really something to brag about, just like how he texts his friends back in high school or now with seungkwan and jeonghan, friends do that, updating and stuff. so, wonwoo doesn’t want to be too uptight about it.

 

other than that, he also noticed that mingyu is literally famous just as what seungkwan described before. recently they have exchanged follows on some social nets, and on mingyu’s blog are some really good posts that gained way too many reactions. his photos and art works posted also ignited reactions that wonwoo never experienced. his regular snapchat stories are always filled with events with different people. and to say wonwoo is afraid, would be an understatement, wonwoo is paranoid and really about to drop all communications with mingyu but he couldn’t do it.

 

especially, since it’s the thing he and mingyu have been conversing about lately. and a small part of him wants to believe.

 _only until tomorrow,_ wonwoo thinks, after tomorrow, he’d leave mingyu alone. he didn’t want to go through the same thing he did back in high school.

 

****

 

the clock ticks a loud half past five in the late afternoon, and wonwoo sits amidst his clothes, his head hung low as he picks his phone up that pops a notification that reads, _just be yourself, look cute,_ from seungkwan. he heaves a long-exaggerated sigh, “but which one? i can’t do both.”

 

he looks at the range of clothes, literally ranging from the colour of his soul to very pastel unicorn’s vomit. he sits on the floor, still rummaging through the pile of clothes, the clock ticks a six in the evening, and wonwoo thinks he should really start moving. he settles in with a pair of black jeans, and a pastel pink shirt and scurries his way into the bathroom and starts on styling his hair, tousling and tousling, unable to decide on the right style. he ends up ruffling it back to the original style, only to sweep it to the side a little revealing a bit of his forehead.

 

he leans back to look at the clock, seeing that it’s already almost seven, he promised mingyu to meet at seven thirty. cursing under his breath, wonwoo jogs out of the bathroom, opting for the glasses instead of his usual contacts because he definitely should not waste time wailing about poking his eyes. he props the rounded frame glasses on, and stumbles around while wearing his socks then sends a quick message.

 

(wonwoo) 19 01

i’m on my way!

 

while wearing his shoes, a reply from mingyu came.

 

(mingyu) 19 03

me too :)

 

he tries to ignore the fact that he’s texting mingyu but stops tying his shoe laces; bringing both his hands to cover his face as he frantically tries to calm down and convince himself that it isn’t a dream, that this is all happening, and he’s going to see mingyu in a few minutes.

 

****

 

wonwoo reaches the station they agreed to meet in. his breathing is uneven as he searches the area for mingyu, which didn’t take too long because mingyu stands out a lot. he’s saying that mingyu usually stands out but today, god, today mingyu looks absolutely stunning. his hair’s a shade of pale grey and styled up to the side, revealing the entire of his perfect sculpture, his ripped jeans, his black bomber jacket that compliments the really bright white shirt underneath. suddenly, wonwoo feels really underdressed. to make him feel worse, mingyu isn’t waiting alone.

 

he’s leaning against a pillar, leisurely conversing with two other guys, none of them familiar. wonwoo walks over really slowly, half-hoping that they would leave before he gets to mingyu; they did.

 

“hey,” mingyu greets him, and something about it feels different, like mingyu outside of the campus versus mingyu in the campus. “i didn’t know you wore glasses.”

 

“o-oh, yeah i was rushing, didn’t have time to put on the contacts.”

 

“you should wear it more often. you look really cute with it.”

 

normally, he doesn’t like it when he gets called ‘cute’ but when mingyu does it, it seems acceptable. the words stick to his throat like glue and wouldn’t budge as he tries to acknowledge mingyu’s new appearance as well. he just feels so small next to mingyu now and all the confidence from the other day has vanished. mingyu gives a queer look to wonwoo probably sensing him tensing up, he reaches down to wonwoo’s disarranged hair from all the running that he did, and combs it neatly, fixing it back to its rightful position.

 

wonwoo blinks, if mingyu keeps giving him surprise attacks like these, he might as well just leave before he dies.

 

“we should get going.”

 

the older nods, mingyu walks ahead of him and wonwoo watches his broad back, a little disappointed with himself, that he couldn’t even leave a nice comment on mingyu’s look. he wants to, but every time he tries to speak and mingyu looks at him directly in his eyes, the words get stuck.

 

they arrive in the area pretty soon. wonwoo could hear the loud, exciting cheers of the fans from outside the arena and his stomach does a small flop. he was really hoping from the day before that today, he would be able to get to know mingyu better, and he certainly didn’t practice the questions for nothing. wonwoo takes a deep breath thinking, _you can do it_ , he takes bigger steps until he’s walking next to mingyu who was looking at the concert tickets.

 

“what’s our area-,” he starts before getting interrupted by another boy’s voice.

 

“mingyu!”

 

mingyu turns away from wonwoo and to his right, “oh!” he exclaims, “haven’t seen you in such a long time!”

 

wonwoo peeks over to see who it is before his face turns a few shades of pale.

 

“hey, hey, buddy, it’s been crazy long since high school.”

 

“yeah, seokmin, it sure has.”

 

“nice hair. haven’t seen you since you got—,” he stops, looking at wonwoo beside mingyu, who then scoots further back, shielding behind mingyu, “wait, isn’t that wonwoo?”

 

wonwoo looks at mingyu who has turned around to look at him, they totally just implied that they went to the same high school, does that mean mingyu’s knows wonwoo from way back then? but why doesn’t wonwoo remember him?

 

“um,” mingyu starts, “yeah, he is.”

 

“wait, it’s _that_ wonwoo right, the one from our high school?”

 

 _our high school?!_ wonwoo screams in his mind, so mingyu really does know about it then, then… then he must’ve heard about the confession incident as well. wonwoo shuts his eyes, trying to calm his veins from popping. did mingyu purposely get close to him just because? mingyu is also ridiculously well-known too, is he just here to bring wonwoo’s hopes up and then make a huge fuss in the end? wonwoo is just about to up and leave the scene before mingyu speaks again, “yeah, it’s jeon wonwoo who i got in trouble for.”

 

seokmin’s mouth forms a round o shape before triumphally laughing, “oh my god, when—should we talk about what happened again?”

 

“shut up, seokmin,” mingyu chides softly, the back of his hand covers his face.

 

“w-what happened?” wonwoo joins, curiosity burning in his soul.

 

“somethings are better left unsaid,” mingyu replies quickly, blocking seokmin from reaching over to wonwoo.

 

seokmin laughs again eyes forming a full crescent, wonwoo frowns, feeling inferior again, many bad things happened in his high school life, his locker sprayed paint, his shoes got stolen, his desk was turned upside down in some mornings and some students got suspended from all these but he never paid close attention to who was it. and now mingyu is doing all things that drops clues that maybe he’s one of those who is out to make wonwoo’s life miserable.

 

“go away,” mingyu mutters, still fighting seokmin who is laughing and trying to get to wonwoo. “go back to where you came from.”

 

“alright, alright, stop hitting me!” seokmin cackles, “bye wonwoo!” he says quickly before leaving.

 

wonwoo stands still wavering over his past. he hears mingyu heaves a deep relieved sigh and turns around looking at him apologetically.

 

“sorry about that, i didn’t expect to see him—“

 

“we were in the same high school?”

 

mingyu looks afraid for a second, he brings his hand up and ruffles his grey hair, looking everywhere and at anything that isn’t wonwoo, he bites down on his lips for a moment, contemplating hard, “yeah.”

 

wonwoo’s expression darkens. he opens his mouth and tries to say something, but nothing comes out so he brings his eyes to the ground, thinks about the hours he spent fretting over tonight, thinks about the number of days he spent thinking about mingyu. and then remembers about how he felt in high school, how mingyu _may_ have made him feel that way.

 

suddenly he reminisces about that old day, when he vowed to seungkwan all teary eyed and snobby nose, that he wouldn’t ever try to get close to anyone who is near well-known or has the power to make everyone do what they did to him. at that time, it’s only regarded as something said out of anger. he brings himself to look at mingyu in the eye painfully, he knows he shouldn’t jump to conclusion so he tries again, “what was it” he asks slowly, “that you did?”

 

if mingyu have lied about it, wonwoo would’ve let himself to buy it, maybe he’s that desperate, or maybe he’s just stupid enough to think that mingyu isn’t like that. except mingyu does nothing. he says nothing—doesn’t explain about anything.

 

the shorter of the two lets a bitter laugh hover over the air heavily, a small understanding smile and nods, “i’m tired, you can go to the concert on your own.”

 

then he’s running, he hears mingyu from a distance. really, it’s so foolish of him, he knew something didn’t feel quite right when everything is going so accordingly, there’s no way that someone like mingyu would pay attention to him. everything’s too good to be true. it’s so stupid—he almost dug a hole back to the hell he experienced before. he halts by a small store, already out of breath from the running, cursing that he should’ve done more sports, wonwoo wipes the remaining cold tear tracks on his face.

 

“fuck mingyu” the wind was cold against his pale hands, and wonwoo wished he hasn’t dressed this dandy because now he feels the shades of black in his soul, “fuck mingyu and his stupid smile,” he scolds, weeping new quiet tears. he finds a wooden bench outside a small bakery and checks his phone and it blinks eight fifteen, the concert is probably starting. wonwoo considers on calling either one of his friends, but the serene and frequent buzz down the small street left him a strange calming effect. it reminded him of the cold nights that he spent alone, in a street like this, when he could no longer take his parents’ argument. he sighs, what would the wonwoo back then think about the situation?

 

“believe?” he asks himself and pathetically laughs.

 

he shuts his eyes again, trying to gain his composure back, perhaps he should just head over to jeonghan’s. it’s nearer anyway. before he’s able to move, a tall figure appears beside him, “wonwoo.”

 

wonwoo rolls his eyes at the sight of mingyu, it’s funny how different he felt just many minutes ago and how he feels now.

 

“let me explain,” mingyu takes huge steps and holds onto wonwoo’s wrist, “please don’t run again.”

 

“look, if you’re just here to apologize about what you’ve done in the past, then forget it, because i honestly, i honestly do not care,” his voice cracks and the end and wonwoo lets out an irritated huff and tries to pry away from mingyu’s hold.

 

“it’s not like that…” mingyu begs, still holding onto wonwoo’s wrist tightly.

 

“fuck off, mingyu,” wonwoo warns sternly. he could see how surprised mingyu is and even he’s surprised at how stone-cold he sounded.

 

“i will,” mingyu says sadly, “after you listen to me.”

 

wonwoo sighs, giving up on squirming away from mingyu, he looks to the side, avoiding the gaze mingyu is giving.

 

“i just got expelled in high school okay,” mingyu says like it’s the most embarrassing thing ever. “because…”

 

“because what?” wonwoo asks, getting quite impatient.

 

“well, i just punched the guy who sprayed paint on your locker and his mom was really pissed and got me expelled.”

 

wonwoo stares at him, _what?_

“ok, maybe it wasn’t just a punch? look, i was just really pissed okay, i have a few friends who are gay as well by few i meant seokmin, because we’re like close friends,” mingyu lets go of wonwoo’s wrist, it burns slightly, but wonwoo’s too intrigued by mingyu’s gesture and words, “and like i’ve heard about you, and they really shouldn’t be doing what they were doing. i stayed over really late that one day because i failed my english and had to do an extra class. and the guy was there with the black and red spray paint by your locker, well of course i knew that was your locker, everyone was talking about you.”

 

mingyu breathes, calming himself down, “so i just went over and punched him. we got into a brawl and then the next day i got expelled.”

 

“why didn’t you just tell me so before?”

 

“well, you’re really smart you know… like in high school you were always placed top in your level, and you were like a senior to me, and i’m just stupid and stuff… and telling someone who is really smart that you got expelled because you got into a fight is really embarrassing? and it doesn’t help that i didn’t do well in my studies either.”

 

“oh,” wonwoo could tell that mingyu’s really embarrassed. his cheeks are glowing red and he keeps meeting wonwoo’s eye and then looking away really quickly. “i thought, i was…”

 

“sorry, i should’ve explained myself. earlier, seokmin tried to tell you about it too.”

 

“oh…” mingyu’s previously perfectly styled hair is a mess, and he’s no longer wearing his bomber jacket—just holding it with his arms. “i didn’t know… sorry i ran.”

 

“you’re not going to do it, again right?”

 

wonwoo looks at mingyu, he blushes a crimson red and shakes his head, ashamed of himself overreacting. he shakes his head lightly and brings his hand to his glasses giving it a light tip (a nervous habit). “you’re not stupid, your art is really good,” wonwoo says like it’s the most important thing in the conversation.

 

mingyu blinks confusedly and he lets out a dry chuckle, “thanks?”

 

“and your dyed hair looks really good,” he compliments quickly, _well better late than never._

mingyu laughs again, and he brings the back of his hand to cover his face again, also a nervous habit that wonwoo has seen so many times, “thanks, i just... was looking forward to the concert a lot.”

 

“shit… sorry.”

 

“no, it’s not your fault.”

 

“no, really, i overreacted.”

 

“hey…”

 

“really, sorry.”

 

“well,” mingyu takes his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans, it’s almost nine, “we can still make it,” he smiles while wearing his jacket.

 

before wonwoo could string a sentence together, mingyu takes him by the hand and runs. it feels as though time has slowed down for the two, running on the small street, for a moment wonwoo looks back, he pictures the young him by the bench, hot streaming tears and his parents’ arguments ringing in his head, he tries to remember how he felt back then but all he could think of was mingyu covering his face with the back of his hand and mingyu’s endearing toothy smile. a sudden rush of thankfulness overcomes him, he lets the wind guide the tracks of the newly born tears.

 

by the time, they got to the concert it’s nine thirty-five—both out of breath, but let’s be honest here, wonwoo’s already planning his 10 days’ worth of sleep from all these running.

 

“we’ll try to push forward,” the grip on wonwoo’s hands tightens and it makes him wonder what does mingyu feel. because, he’s heard from seungkwan that mingyu dated girls before, so he’s definitely not like wonwoo. what does he feel about holding hands with wonwoo like this? everything feels weird.

 

mingyu shuffles his way forward, his hands never letting go of wonwoo’s. they reached to the middle—the sound of the music blaring as wonwoo stares at mingyu’s back, then the younger pulls him forward, all the way to his side, “can you see?” he yells, looking at wonwoo.

 

wonwoo nods.

he loses mingyu’s attention as another set plays in the concert, mingyu’s obviously thrilled. so is wonwoo, except he wasn’t sure if it’s the concert or the fact that mingyu never let go of his hands throughout.

 

that night, wonwoo doesn’t think about his sexuality, doesn’t think about his parents, doesn’t think about how much he wanted to just stop living back then. instead, he focused on mingyu’s warm hands on his hand and mingyu’s really bright cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 3015
> 
> huuuuuuuuuur keeping up with consistency is so difficult sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (so i updated this without putting much thought about my a/n) but i came back and re-read it again and was pretty happy about how this chapter turns out to be. i could see what's going to happen next so it means everything's going well *cheers*
> 
> finally, some awaited progress aka drama. i love dramatic fanfiction hahahhahaa ha anyway, from here you could see hints of wonwoo's past and i just wanted to say (as you all know that i do not plan my work by chapters) that i may include some ways of him trying to take his life out im just saying, though its not 100% confirmed bc i change as i type............... and i dont want to ruin surprises, but i figured i'll let the current readers know about it, and when i actually write about it, i'll put the tag up..... i hope its not too late bc i certainly do not want anyone to be triggered by anything. ok i love all you. 
> 
> so that's all i have to say, thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **** warning: attempt in suicide. *****

the next few weeks, wonwoo doesn’t see mingyu around, as finals are literally crawling behind their backs, wonwoo barely has time to breathe air outside of the library, when he isn’t in lecture classes he’ll be burying his nose deep within his textbooks or hunched over his laptop, typing some stupid reports about a survey he did in the third week of the semester.

 

he would be lying if he said he doesn’t miss hanging around mingyu (not that they hung out a lot), to phrase it correctly, he misses the small talks he has with mingyu around the campus. _now it feels as if mingyu isn’t even a student here_ , wonwoo thinks.

 

“i haven’t seen mingyu for two weeks already.”

 

seungkwan peeks up from his notes giving wonwoo a perplexed look as his phone buzzes three times, “are you not going to reply to kim mingyu?” he asks pointing acutely at wonwoo’s phone.

 

wonwoo smiles lazily. yes, he hasn’t seen mingyu for weeks, but they’ve managed somehow to keep conversations going.

 

(mingyu) 14 24

so, Christmas is coming

i’ve got something for you!

:D

 

_oh._

 

(wonwoo) 14 26

i’ve completely lost track of dates and days

:)

cool

“probably not the best response to say to someone who has gotten you a gift,” jeonghan says from the side.

 

“um,” wonwoo starts, putting his phone against his chest.

 

“in my defence, it was in my field of vision.”

 

there’s a snort from seungkwan and wonwoo could only glare at the younger angrily. before he could snap like a diva the device buzzes again.

 

(mingyu) 14 27

is that all you have to say?

 

(wonwoo) 14 27

thanks!

 

(mingyu) 14 27

:)

do you think I could see you tomorrow?

 

“no, not tomorrow,” wonwoo rolls his eyes and looks at the direction the voice is coming from again, “you promised seungkwan that you’ll be going to buy a new rice cooker.”

 

“stop peekin—“

 

“i almost forgot about that, thanks for reminding,” seungkwan chimes.

 

“ugh.”

(wonwoo) 14 30

not tomorrow.

the day after tomorrow?

 

(mingyu) 14 31

i’ll be busy after tomorrow :(

maybe i’ll see you later ^^

 

wonwoo sighs. it will be silly to say he misses mingyu as a whole.

 

but, he does.

 

it’s six in the evening when the trios are packing their things up.

 

“ah fuck,” wonwoo curses, “i left something in my locker. i’ll be right back.”

 

with that, he swings his bag on his right shoulder and scurries out of the library. the hallway is still filled with a number of students, but as he makes turns in the corners around the campus to get to his locker the sea of people seems to flood out and soon wonwoo is left alone with the eerily lighted hallway his locker is located in.

 

he tugs on his sleeves of his grey sweater and coughs audibly (a way to get rid of the uneasiness sitting on his chest), striding over to his locker as quickly as possible. praying softly to whatever is hiding in that dark toilet at the other end to go away. he unlocks his locker hastily and starts searching through the piles of papers that are left unorganized. the rustling left an echo around the place that covers the other noises that he didn’t manage to hear the footsteps approaching him.

 

“wonwoo.”

 

“fuck!” wonwoo screams, slamming his locker shut at the same time.

 

“wow, Christ!”

 

“mingyu,” wonwoo says between his heavy breath, “oh my god, sorry.”

 

“no,” the younger laughs, “i— “ he starts as he looks away from wonwoo, laughing again this time louder and more uncontrollable.

 

wonwoo rolls his eyes, “s-stop it will you,” the tips of his ears glowing alarmingly red.

 

“okay,” he says, mingyu’s lips formed a soft thin line, and the corners of his eyes crinkling again—holding back his laughter.

 

wonwoo shakes his head avoiding mingyu’s stupid awe look and tries hard to control the fluttering butterflies in his empty stomach.

 

“why are you here?” he asks.

 

“ah, well, just trying my luck,” mingyu says.

 

“of what?” there’s a small smile playing at the corner of wonwoo’s lips.

 

“well,” mingyu says sheepishly, “i did say i got you something.”

 

mingyu rummages through his green duffel bag, and it is this moment that wonwoo takes a good look at mingyu who he hasn’t seen for weeks. there’s a smear on his yellow sleeves that looked oddly similar to mustard, his hair however, is combed neatly to the side, and well, he never loses his charms, even with mustard on his sleeves.

 

“here,” mingyu hands a cylindrical item to wonwoo. “for Christmas,” he adds.

 

anyone could tell what it is. first of all, mingyu didn’t even bother to wrap the thing up. it’s a silver, heavy and well relatively good quality pocket umbrella.

 

“in advance, you know, because you might have plans with your family or friends.”

 

a small light dies in wonwoo when mingyu mentions his family, but still unable to process the fact that mingyu gave him a pocket umbrella for Christmas wonwoo stands still, two hands on the silver cylinder. he tries to open it but realizes the dubious amount of tape obstructing his action.

 

“what?”

 

“oh, you’re not supposed to open it, until Christmas.”

 

wonwoo looks up meeting mingyu’s honest and firm gaze. “what do you mean, it’s obviously a pocket umbrella, anyone can tell.”

 

mingyu laughs, “it’s more than just a pocket umbrella.”

 

“huh?”

 

“it’s a pocket umbrella from me, duh.”

 

wonwoo rolls his eyes, suddenly asking himself why is he in love with this idiot.

 

“mingyu— “

 

“i’m serious okay, don’t open it until Christmas.”

 

wonwoo huffs, shaking his head. “okay, okay.”

 

“it’s a promise,” mingyu says firmly.

 

“yes, okay,” wonwoo assures. at this point he’s half smiling at mingyu’s adorable persuasion and also dying from anticipation. “well, one thing i know, is that i’m not spending Christmas with my family.”

 

“oh.”

 

mingyu fidgets in his stand a little, obviously contemplating whether he should ask or skip the question so wonwoo helps him, “i don’t want to talk about it now, do you have plans on that day, I mean it’s two weeks from today.”

 

“yeah,” mingyu says smiling like the brightest bulb in the world again, “well, my best,” he air-quotes, “friend is holding a house party.”

 

“i see.”

 

“hey, I should totally put you in the list as well, you could join us! besides he’s a close partner project with jeonghan.”

 

“w-what? no, no, no, i’m not very good with social events.”

 

“come on, wonwoo, it’ll be fun! besides i’m going to be there, and i’ll put seungkwan and jeonghan in as well.”

 

wonwoo sighs, “i’m not really sure…”

 

mingyu pouts, “i was just thinking it’ll be nice to spend Christmas with you and stuff,” he says quietly.

 

wonwoo ruffles his hair and heaves a deep sigh knowing that he is definitely going to regret this, “okay, fine.”

 

“yes! okay let me just text them to put your names in.”

 

wonwoo laughs, tightening his grip around the silver pocket umbrella in his hands as he looks at the eager mingyu in front of him, just then his phone buzzes as well.

 

(jeonghan) 18 46

well someone’s having their sweet date

i’m in the train with seungkwan now

you should just ask mingyu to walk you home

 

(seungkwan) 18 50

;)

have fun

 

“fuck my friends,” wonwoo curses under his breath.

 

“what happened?”

 

“they left campus without me,” wonwoo whimpers.

 

“i’ll go with you,” mingyu says packing his phone away into the back pocket of his jeans. “which station?”

 

“five.”

 

“one before mine,” mingyu gestures wonwoo to walk beside him.

 

their footsteps echo the empty hallway and every time mingyu chuckles or imitates the pace of wonwoo’s paces, wonwoo is reminded of how lucky he is to be living in this moment, suddenly thankful that he hasn’t done what he tried to in the past.

 

they passed by the gate outside of the university, talking about siblings, wonwoo doesn’t have one, he probably does, but they’re like half siblings (either different mom or different dad because his parents remarried).

 

“my sister, is really smart,” mingyu starts, his nose twitches and he reaches out from his jackets pocket to rub it. “unlike me, she’s more scientifically equipped, i guess.”

 

wonwoo laughs, “scientifically equipped,” he mocks.

 

“i’m serious!” mingyu argues, “like you don’t understand, she’s just better than me in all those things. Well, I’m proud of art though, so it doesn’t matter.”

 

“hm,” wonwoo hums in agreement.

 

“what about you? what are your siblings like?”

 

there’s a silence, deep and hollow as wonwoo tries to gather his sentences, mingyu doesn’t push him in fact wonwoo could actually hear mingyu’s regret in asking the question.

 

“well,” he says finally, “i don’t have siblings.”

 

“that’s good you don’t have to share.”

 

wonwoo chuckles, “at least not fully blood related siblings,” he continues quietly.

 

“oh... sorry.”

 

“don’t be,” wonwoo shrugs, kicking the pebbles on the street, “you didn’t know.”

 

they walked in silence again. the topic is obviously lifted from the conversation, but somehow wonwoo wants to talk about it, not to anyone but mingyu, a part of him wants mingyu to know about it.

 

“my parents are divorced.”

 

mingyu looks taken aback as he stops on his tracks looking apologetically at wonwoo, “you don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

 

“nah,” wonwoo smiles, and walks again, soon mingyu catches up, walking beside him again. the cold breeze making their bones dance. “you know, when i was in high school and all that happened, it’s really stressful, especially when you don’t have open-minded parents at home.”

 

“god, did they hit you?”

 

“what? no,” wonwoo says quickly and mingyu heaves a relieve sigh.

 

“thank god.”

 

“it was more like, going to school and knowing that you don’t belong to any of the groups and going home knowing you don’t belong there either.”

 

mingyu readjusts the strap of his duffel back that’s pressed against the front of his chest but doesn’t say anything.

 

“and when it gets bad in school, you come home to listen to their arguments again, it really… it really kills you i guess.”

 

wonwoo remembers the dark days, back when the only person he could depend on is someone who isn’t blood related to him (because the ones that are, are too busy arguing about him). seungkwan is the only one that he could genuinely go to, and sob about the pain because someone pushed him against the railings on the stairs so hard that it left a purple blue bruise on his waist. wonwoo remembers how seungkwan will buy him apple juice from the canteen.

 

they would sit by the empty metal staircase that only the janitors and technicians used (which isn’t very often) and seungkwan will try to make things better for wonwoo, he’d bring markers and draw small stars and planets on wonwoo’s bruise. which probably isn’t the best idea because well, ink is poisonous, but still, it made wonwoo feel better about it. at least, then, they’d talk about the galaxies on his bruises rather than the pain he feels on both the bruises and his heart.

 

but seungkwan can’t be there all the time, he has strict parents that keeps track of his school work and sleeping schedules, so the battles at home was wonwoo’s alone.

 

it doesn’t make anything better when 90% of the arguments his parents had was because of him.

 

“you know… I tried to do it back then. it was a rash decision but it didn’t turn out the way i planned it.”

 

“do… what?” mingyu asks slowly and cautiously. his voice dropping an octave lower, if that’s even possible.

 

“well,” wonwoo says and takes gently deep breath, “i tried to put my life to a better end.”

 

they’re walking, the noises of the streets from the other end growing louder, but all wonwoo could decipher was how crestfallen mingyu’s look resonates in his ears. and the only good feeling about the whole thing is when mingyu reaches over and gives wonwoo’s cold hand a tight squeeze.

 

“what did you do?” he asks and then hastily continues, “i mean, don’t talk about it if it triggers you and stuff.”

 

wonwoo’s lips quiver and his hands shakes a little in mingyu’s grip, “there’s a bathtub in my house, i just took some heavy drugs and had myself really drowsy and shit, tried to sleep. in the bathtub with water of course,” he chuckles nervously.

 

but mingyu stayed stoic.

 

“it didn’t work out well because my parents found me. i did fall asleep though, but i left the water running so they came to check on me. right, on time i guess. before i, you know. gone.”

 

he thinks about the suffocation and the burning in his throat. he could vividly picture his mother hovering over him and his father talking anxiously on the phone as wonwoo blinks to consciousness. everything was hazy and his head pounded heavily against his skull. the only thing wonwoo could think of in the moment is that not even god wants him. that really, he belongs to nowhere. just another extra existence that nobody needs.

his mother's palm pressed against his cheeks as she calls his name over and over again but all wonwoo could feel was the stinging pain in his throat as he cries through his difficult, staggered breath.

 

“wonwoo…”

 

“pretty tough, it was, it sure was,” wonwoo babbles, his voice cracks a little at the end and he shakes his head in attempt to take the brimming weak tears away from his eyes. it must’ve been overwhelming for mingyu to take in so many information.

 

“hey,” mingyu coaxes gently. patting on his back.

 

“sometimes, i wish i didn’t like guys too,” wonwoo says and now he’s crying. _fucking hell._ “sometimes, i wish i’d have shut up and not say anything to that senior. he’s—“

 

“such a jerk, fuck him,” mingyu continues when wonwoo starts sobbing raggedly.

 

“everybody takes me like a joke.”

 

mingyu’s holding onto wonwoo’s hands now, and evidently wonwoo thinks about the day in the concert and he cries even more, because man, what did he do to deserve a mingyu in his pathetic life.

 

“seungkwan and jeonghan doesn’t,” mingyu says softly later, “i don’t too.”

 

wonwoo nods, the rest of the walk to the train station is quiet, mingyu doesn’t let go of wonwoo’s cold hand, instead he’s holding onto it and stuffing it into his jacket’s pocket. the feeling reminded wonwoo of the things he wished he had back in high school; home—safe.

 

they’re seated on the train. he listens to mingyu hum onto some catchy beat, his cheeks cold from the tear tracks and cold breeze outside of the train.

 

“thanks,” wonwoo mumbles.

 

“what?”

 

“thanks,” he says again, and he feels the tips of his ears going really hot again, even without looking at mingyu, he could tell that the younger is looking at him, “for listening.”

 

wonwoo forces himself to look at mingyu at the end, he doesn’t regret it when he sees mingyu soft smile radiating from his bright sculpture.  unable to keep eye contact, wonwoo looks away again, boring holes into his fingers on his lap.

 

“you know,” mingyu starts, his voice, dry, “it’s really cute how your ears turn really red when you’re nervous.”

 

“s-shut up!” wonwoo scolds.

 

mingyu laughs heartily, all clapping and stuff. then he leans on wonwoo’s head, shifting his entire body weight onto wonwoo. the train isn’t exactly empty, but people could care less of two university students, bags under their eyes, stress seeping out of their souls.

 

“you’re heavy,” wonwoo states pointedly.

 

mingyu hums in reply, and soon wonwoo gives in leaning onto mingyu’s shoulder as support, because the difference of their height is just right, the position is well, really, comfortable.

 

wonwoo thinks he could stay like this.

 

he wants mingyu in his life.

 

when the wonwoo’s station draws nearer, mingyu whispers a _stay alive, wonwoo_ that wonwoo could barely hear and when he tries to prod mingyu to say it again, he gets distracted by the announcement of the train’s stop and mingyu’s dumb toothy smile.

 

“don’t open the pocket umbrella,” he says.

 

and wonwoo could only laugh as stretches a little on his seat and stands, walking towards the door, “yeah.”

 

the train stops in slow-mo and wonwoo just stands there having a staring contest with mingyu who is obviously winning.

 

“text me when you’re home.”

 

the announcement sounds again, alerting the passengers that the door is opening.

 

“okay,” wonwoo says.

 

++++

 

(wonwoo) 20 01

i’m home

(mingyu) 20 01

i just got off my stop

(wonwoo) 20 02

walk on the pavement, idiot

(mingyu) 20 05

HAHA

ok

mom

 

(mingyu) 20 18

nothing feels better than my bed

well,

(wonwoo) 20 25

what?

(mingyu) 20 27

leaning on your head feels better though :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 2830
> 
> a rather short update. guys, university has officially taken over my life. :))))))))))))))))  
> i'm trying to eat correctly and sleep correctly which i'm failing very horribly. but it's a saturday today and i dont want to keep many people waiting for things.
> 
> quite a heavy chapter   
> but hey, good news is that i have predicted the number of chapters for this fanfic. :D   
> we're close to the end so hang around some more? by the way, if i haven't already said, i have a tumblr blog and twitter account running @wonwhotf i'd love to talk to you and shower you with my very extra and good love <3 (and also bc im lonely)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you thought the last chapter's dramatic, this one's worse.

the only thing wonwoo remembers about getting to seungcheol’s house (mingyu’s ‘best’ friend) for Christmas is the very bright street lights and the obnoxious Christmas songs, literally everywhere. he lets out a sigh, hands twirling on the hem of his red t-shirt (which seungkwan has insisted him to wear because it’s Christmas so no droopy colours allowed) on the backseat of jeonghan’s car.

 

“lover boy, no sighing,” seungkwan teases.

 

wonwoo could only roll his eyes, and very obviously fakes a longer, louder sigh. yes, it is true that he is not the brightest person when it comes to gathering, but to make it worse, he’s going to a party—a party where he only knows like maybe five persons at the maximum.

 

really, liking mingyu is doing things to the decision-making part of his mind.

 

“i seriously think wearing red makes me stand out too much,” wonwoo exasperatedly gestures his t-shirt, “and i hate unwanted attention.”

 

“unwanted attention and mingyu’s attention,” the smirk from jeonghan’s wearing is making his head spin a little.

 

they stopped five yards away from the already booming music, the quoted time was 7pm but jeonghan says nobody ever goes at 7pm so here they are standing in front of seungcheol’s doorstep at 9:30pm. wonwoo’s stomach is doing multiple somersaults when they barely knock on the door but barges in. nobody seemed to bother anyway.

 

the music is loud, like really, really loud. it didn’t even seem like a Christmas thing. if the huge Christmas isn’t there at the corner of the living room, wonwoo couldn’t even tell it’s a Christmas party.

 

but other than that, all he could really focus on is there is a lot of people in the small house. and the anxiety he never knew he had in him is really catching up to him. they stopped by the kitchen counter as jeonghan greets seungcheol, they exchanged greetings and jeonghan’s probably introducing his friend but wonwoo’s far gone away. the noises has faded out and he’s just standing there next to seungkwan clutching onto his elbow, hanging on the last piece of sanity before he calls it quits.

 

“hey, you came.”

 

mingyu appears from the corner, before wonwoo could entirely snap back to reality, mingyu’s close to him, like right in front of his face, _why is he so close to me?_

“sorry, you were zoning out pretty badly.”

 

“i- did i say that outloud?”

 

“yes.”

 

“sorry, it’s not bad, i mean i didn’t hate it, wait, no that came out wrong, i—“

 

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” mingyu gently slides his hands past wonwoo’s arms, there’s a slight amusement in his voice. the music got louder again and wonwoo isn’t too sure but he thinks he hears mingyu called him cute.

 

minutes and minutes later, wonwoo has already lost both of his friends in the crowd, he’s in the other compartment with mingyu.

 

“that’s a lot of gravy.”

 

wonwoo doesn’t bother to answer, he just looks up to mingyu, a small satisfied smile on his face, a bowl of mashed potato bathed in gravy in his hands. “it’s nice like this.”

 

“you should try the apple pie,” mingyu says, turning around only to see the empty platter. “or not.”

 

“guess i came a little too late.”

 

“i saved you a piece in the fridge.”

 

“oh,” wonwoo continues stuffing his mouth with the mashed potato.

 

there’s a pause and then,

 

“i made it.”

 

“oh,” he says again, “you, wait what?”

 

“yeah, i made the apple pie,” mingyu laughs, “lol.”

 

“okay, first of all nobody says lol in real life, literally don’t spell it out,” wonwoo argues, laughing, “but wow, where.”

 

“it’s in the kitchen, but,” mingyu pauses side stepping pass wonwoo and taking a peek towards the kitchen, “we probably shouldn’t go there now, someone’s literally someone else’s face.”

 

wonwoo shakes his head, he’s chuckling as he watches mingyu pouring a little more gravy on his mashed potato, he’s sticking a little tongue out as he tries to shape a ‘w’ with the sauce. suddenly, wonwoo isn’t complaining about mingyu practically taking over a part of his decision-making mind and coming to the party isn’t such a bad idea after all.

 

surprisingly, wonwoo has also been joining the fun party games, he even played twister with jeonghan, seungkwan and mingyu and some other people, got ousted in the early game because he just can’t, his body just can’t do it. mingyu thinks it’s really hilarious because he’s still laughing about it as they were seated in a small circle with a glass bottle in the center.

 

there are some other people that wonwoo never knew existed, and there are some whom he has seen in the university before.

 

“so, we all know the rules,” seungkwan perks in.

 

of course, the quick to get comfortable guy that everyone loves, seungkwan’s good with crowds. there’s a series of hell yeah. then, the bottle spins and wonwoo’s heart pounds heavily against his chest, honestly, he hates this kind of game, mainly because there’s always some really awkward, embarrassing things and too much secrets.

 

it spins and spins, and coming to a very slow motion almost, almost pointing at wonwoo, but alas stops at mingyu who is sitting right next to wonwoo. there’s an exasperated sigh as he eyes seungkwan weirdly like he’s pleading but is still trying to assert dominance.

 

“truth, please no stupid ass questions,” mingyu remarks, but he knows that it wouldn’t work.  

 

“let us know one animated character that isn’t human—“

 

before he could complete the sentence, everyone’s laughing, wonwoo’s laughing too.

 

mingyu rolls his eyes, “ok,” he starts, “i was really young,” mingyu’s fidgeting around his seat and wonwoo honestly thinks it’s the best night ever because he’s seeing so many new sides of mingyu. the chef mingyu, the very flexible mingyu, the embarrassed fidgety mingyu revealing his young thoughts, “well, uh you know lion king…”

 

he hangs his head down low as the crowd roars in laughter, wonwoo’s clapping like a dumb seal next to him.

 

“man, fuck all of you, nala was alluring okay,” mingyu says finally.

 

there’s more laughing and mingyu dismisses everything bending forward to spin the bottle again to distract everyone, it landed on dokyeom. the rest of game went pretty smoothly. wonwoo did some impersonation, some really dumb acting. he’d also found out about mingyu’s high school girl-crush who is also present in the party, though her name isn’t revealed, it didn’t bug wonwoo too much, he knows his boundaries.

 

he knew mingyu likes girls, he knew mingyu had dated some girls even in university.

 

the game’s fun and relaxing, honestly, not as bad as wonwoo imagined.

 

or so he thought.

 

it’s that spin done by a blonde guy that landed on mingyu, yet again. but this time mingyu claps his hands, he has done some vodka shots and wonwoo thinks the alcohol is catching up to him to be this confident. though, it’s only two shots, mingyu could do better.

 

“dare.”

 

the circle coos and wonwoo shakes his head, not in a bad way, but a rather adoring way.

 

“okay, kiss someone in this circle.”

 

the calls get stronger and wonwoo is panicking once again, he eyes mingyu from the side very quickly, but the latter is smiling and it’s weird, because wonwoo kind of doesn’t want him to kiss anyone else? but it’s not like he owns mingyu or anything, he just has horrible issues.

 

“okay,” mingyu says finally.

 

and wonwoo feels his heart drops as he feels a tug on his sleeves and then a warm, a little sweaty palm, on the left side of his cheeks. somewhere behind all of his pulsating nerves he hears seungkwan scream and then later it gets wipe off entirely replaced by mingyu’s soft, soft lips.

 

it tasted like vodka (of course), a hint of chips but most of all, it burns his throat. somewhere in between the moments, wonwoo’s world is cleaned with light, fluffy pink bathed in the gentle sunlight radiating from mingyu’s elegant eyelashes.

 

he doesn’t know how he’s breathing, but it definitely kind of feels like a cardiac arrest. there’s no involvement of tongues, it’s chastise, gentle and loving. just mingyu pressing his warm lips against wonwoo’s frozen panic ones.

for a while it seems okay, for a while it seems okay to wish for this kind of ending.

the noise from the circle drowns back in as mingyu parts away from wonwoo, his hand stills on wonwoo’s cheeks for a few seconds before slowly retrieving it back. the glint in his eyes grew a little, as if he’d just realized what just happened. wonwoo blinks, once and twice, and then he averted his gaze back to his hands.

 

_he doesn’t mean it._

 

suddenly, it’s dark again, the noises still evident at the back of his mind, he’s sweating a little and he hates it, he hates that kiss and at the same time he loves it. but what he hates most, is himself. he balls his fist tightly, nails digging strongly into his palms.

 

“wonwoo,” mingyu calls softly.

 

he hears the droplets of guilt in mingyu’s voice, if he had known better.

 

jeonghan who seems to have noticed the tension calls it quits, he moves the crowds over to the beer pong table, suggests some fancy game plays.

 

wonwoo doesn’t wait for mingyu, he’s up really quick, basically sprinting to the front door. he hears mingyu calling out to him from behind, hears mingyu say ‘be right back’ to someone, oh how he wishes to never hear mingyu again.

 

“wonwoo, wait,” mingyu grabs on to his wrist.

 

they’re out in the cold post-christmas night, in the breezy midnight fresh-air, wonwoo smells like chips and soda drinks.

 

“i’m sor—“

 

“don’t,” wonwoo says quietly, trying his best to muffle the noise behind his throat, “just, leave me alone.”

 

“no, wonwoo, listen to me.”

 

“listen to you what?” he snaps, first time looking at mingyu under the blaring moon. “listen to you, making fun of me? really, i thought you knew better.”

 

“it wasn’t, i didn’t do it as a joke.”

 

“right, mingyu,” wonwoo scoffs, throwing his arms in the air. then he falls silent. shaking his head as the new fresh tears starts falling on their own accord. “you knew i’m gay,” he whispers.

 

“you knew it, and you still—“

 

“i’m not making fun of you.”

 

“yeah okay, so what, you’re gonna say you like me? can you?” wonwoo asks, he’s passed that disappointment stage, “mingyu, do you not understand what the fuck you just did? for all you know, i could have feelings for you, and maybe i do but it’s not like you can like me back can you?”

 

“i—“

 

“can you do things that gay couples do?” wonwoo asks, he’s crying again, for what now? mingyu’s surprised face? he doesn’t really know. “you can’t.”

 

“wonwoo, please, can we just calm down and—“

 

wonwoo shakes the grip of mingyu on his arms off, he takes two steps back, “no,” he says firmly. “you knew about me, you knew what happened to me, i told you everything, i told you everything i had and yet, you just…”

 

“wonwoo…”

 

“mingyu, i’m gay,” wonwoo swallows the lump in his throat and he forces himself to look at mingyu, “and you’re not,” he whispers. “look, let’s not, let’s just not see each other anymore.”

 

with that, wonwoo’s on his heels, walking away. half of him hopes that mingyu comes after him, maybe explain he still wants to be friends or even better; reciprocate his dumb feelings, another half of him wants to just go home, knows it’s too good to be true, drink milk and maybe try not to cry again.

 

but instead, wonwoo misses the quiet tears that mingyu sheds while watching his back going further and further into the dark.

 

that night wonwoo lays quietly in his bed, ignoring the ringing of his phone whilst looking at the stupid pocket umbrella that mingyu gave, every now and then he starts sobbing a little. he cries harder when he remembers about the apple pie mingyu saved for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words: 2029  
> hi a really late update, but hellu, i'm here and this is chapter six! kinda stuck a little because i was like wait where do i stop for this chapter bc i obviously need content for the last one, so here it is. i stopped here.  
> much drama, i was rejoicing writing about the kissing scene. i tried.
> 
> a lot of drastic changes has been going on in my life, i'm glad the storm's over and i'm finally back to writing again. who knows, might there be a new one-shot? :p i hope not ahahhahaahahha
> 
> thank you for reading!


	7. chapter 7

it’s the month of march, cherry blossoms wafting in the air, the sky above darkening slightly, a light rumble, while wonwoo, sits on the window sill of his little bedroom, holding onto his phone.

he thinks about visiting his mother next week, glancing over his wardrobe. difficultly, he drags himself over to the wardrobe. _probably, should start packing_ he thought.

seconds later, he’s digging into his wardrobe. everything tumbling out from the stuffed closet. something hits the floor, a loud, ungraceful thud. wonwoo glances over at the silver cylindrical object. the case, slowly, rolling over to the wall on the right.

_the pocket umbrella._

he laughs quietly, walking over to pick it up.

he has been avoiding mingyu, at least he was. after the whole Christmas dare, mingyu did try to approach wonwoo a number of times, but wonwoo always had the chance to slip away, most of the time having jeonghan and seungkwan back him up, some other times, literally just running away. after failing to approach wonwoo physically, mingyu tried calling and texting him, he didn’t know where wonwoo lives at, only knew the fifth station from the campus, but all it takes was the 10th missed calls and 27th texts for wonwoo to block his number. after that mingyu stopped.

perhaps, it seems a little stupid, over dramatic even, wonwoo knows but he swears, with people sometimes coming up to him and making that smoochy face. it gets to him. wonwoo knows it’s a harmless joke, but it terrifies him. and honestly, he’s tired of pretending that it doesn’t terrify him, that it doesn’t make him feel as if he’s recreating old, horrifying high school memories.

and so, all he does is ignore the source of where it all started from; mingyu.

wonwoo does defeatedly admits that he still checks mingyu’s blogs at times. and quite upsettingly, it’s still updating. he knows he shouldn’t but a selfish part of wonwoo hoped for his depart from mingyu’s life had an impact. hell, sometimes he drinks coffee mixed with salt in his kitchen, and it honestly isn’t making the whole situation any better.

some nights, he contemplates to unblock mingyu’s number from his phone, some nights, he thinks he should’ve listen to mingyu explain. but in the mornings, wonwoo would think that its for best that he keeps more good memories and one bad memory of them rather than listening to an explanation like “I’m sorry, I should’ve known better”.

now, wonwoo is sitting on the floor, back leaned against the wall, slowly tearing the old, sticky tape wrapped around the umbrella, lost in the calming fragments of memories of the way mingyu says _lol_ in real life, the way he puts his hand at the back of his neck when he gets nervous or the way he held onto wonwoo’s hands.

he laughs bitterly, it’s silly, really.

with some force, he removes the last piece of tape, and takes a whole look of the silver pocket umbrella, his lips forming a thin line,

“I’m serious okay,” he whispers, “don’t open it until Christmas.”

he twists open the cap with his right hand, just then his phone chimes repeatedly, a flood of messages wonwoo jolts, the connection in his apartment were not really that flattering. getting up with a grunt, he heads over to his bed to retrieve the ringing device. it’s the groupchat.

 

(seungkwan)

I’m thinking 3 great brothers for life and

AND!!!!

pancake house

 

(jeonghan)

you are an idiot

 

(seungkwan)

do you guys wanna???

 

(jeonghan)

pancakes, really…?

 

(seungkwan)

what’s wrong with pancakes?

 

(jeonghan)

nothing

just pancakes with both of you is rather….

un-charming

 

(seungkwan)

:(

you broke my cup last week

:(

 

(jeonghan)

fine, meet you at wonwoo’s in 20

 

(seungkwan)

YES

 

wonwoo looks at the time, it was 17 minutes ago. “fuck,” he whispers, frantically typing on the phone.

 

(wonwoo)

what happened to my consent?!??!?!!

(jeonghan)

we’re here

 

(seungkwan)

bring an umbrella

looks like the sky is gonna hurl anytime

 

wonwoo grabs whatever clothes is at sight, gets changed hastily, grabs the pocket umbrella and his phone in one swift movement, and locks his door behind him, almost bolting to the elevator.

“seriously, what about my consent,” he mutters under his breath.

the elevator chimes, wonwoo gets in.

 

+++

 

“seriously, what is the deal with the professor right?” seungkwan complains.

the pancake house door closing behind them. “maybe your face just pisses him off,” jeonghan replies.

seungkwan scoffs, says something that wonwoo tuned out on. he looks at the drizzle in the rain and his mind drifts to the pocket umbrella he held on. he holds it up, just eyeing it, maybe bringing it out was a mistake.

“yeah but—” jeonghan stops, looking at wonwoo, “why are you looking at the umbrella like it’s a memorial shell casing from god?”

wonwoo lets out a bitter laugh then a loud, long sigh, “it’s from mingyu,” he says, “mingyu, he gave it to me, before Christmas.”

seungkwan makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, standing behind wonwoo. jeonghan gulps, the drizzle gets evidently heavier.

“a Christmas gift, he said,” wonwoo adds, twirling the case on his hands.

few minutes passed by, just three guys standing outside of a pancake house, staring at a silver cylindrical casing of a pocket umbrella.

“want me to throw it away?” seungkwan asks later, eyes filled with fear and uncertainty.

wonwoo looks at seungkwan, thinking.

it was quite a rough phase after the Christmas party. he did a number of breakdowns, and the bad ones are usually when mingyu spots him in the hallway, probably came around to look for wonwoo, their frantic eyes meeting from a distance, and wonwoo would halt in his steps. for a moment he’d feel suffocated, like drowning except in air. he’d hear mingyu call out to him even amidst of all the chattering—he’d hear mingyu’s mellow, pleading voice, loud and clear.

it makes him ache, it makes him want to draw mingyu closer, to get back to the exchanged cheeky smiles in the cafeteria, the small, carefree hangouts, the nights when they’d bump into each other in the library and decided to go home together, the comfort that mingyu gives him, the home that he lets wonwoo feel.

and it scares him, it happened so fast and it certainly did feel real.

then wonwoo would snap back to reality as the image of mingyu in reality appears closer and closer to him, “help me,” he whispers to his friends then he’s off running to a find safe space, wherever he could, an empty stairway, secluded restrooms, anywhere as long as he’s far and off from mingyu.

what a fool, he’d think, for something that made him feel so right and yet at the same time, feel so wrong all at the same time.

he would start crying, thinking how stupid it is, for him to let someone into his life carelessly like that. what a fool he made out of himself, being emotionally invested in a fickle friendship, in a _temporary_ comfort. for him to be open with someone he barely knows.

hell, for him to even think of a happy ending, for him and mingyu. mingyu for fucksake, the guy who couldn’t pass the hallway with at least 5 hellos, the guy everyone thinks is amazing.

then seungkwan and jeonghan would somehow just be able to find him. wonwoo would look up to them, while he’s squatted in a corner, holding his knees close to his chest.

 “I fell in love with him, teach me how to make it stop.”

he’d stay like that rocking back and forth, hoping the feeling will go away.

 

“so,” seungkwan asks again, “throw or nah?”

wonwoo blinks, staring at the pocket umbrella, he pops open the cap of the casing, the sticky leftover of the tape left an odd and uncomfortable sensation onto his fingers.

“nah,” he says.

seungkwan looks over to jeonghan worriedly, the latter shrugs, and starts untying his umbrella.

with that, wonwoo pops open the silver coloured umbrella, and the three boys once again stood stunned.

 the bells from the pancake house jingles in the background as the customer leaves the place.

inside the umbrella, written rather hastily in black, thickened ink, was non-other than mingyu’s messy handwriting.

wonwoo gapes, he could feel his head spinning a little. and he looks to his left, the usually chirpy seungkwan, mouth sealed and whose expression mimicked a deer caught in headlights, then he turns to his right, jeonghan shakes his head a little, looking at wonwoo, then he starts laughing hysterically.

wonwoo turns back to look at the inside of the umbrella again, the frown almost planted on his face permanently.

“I really, really, really like you. would you give me a chance?” it read.

jeonghan laughs even harder, and soon wonwoo joins, laughing—laughing at the cruel, cruel universe, all while seungkwan stood still, trying to process the information.

“this…” seungkwan starts, “this is fucking wild!!!!” he screams.

jeonghan and wonwoo still laughing.

“wonwoo,” seungkwan says, holding onto his shoulders, shaking him slightly, “don’t you get it? he likes you!!!”

wonwoo laughs even wilder, “no, stop laughing!!!!! he didn’t kiss you because of some stupid, silly dare.”

wonwoo stops, “yeah, but it doesn’t matter anymore,” he says, “he stopped looking for me since the end of January, it is obviously game over.”

“well, uh… actually, about that…” seungkwan starts.

“I sort of threatened him and said some stuff,” jeonghan states, “he did say he has something important to discuss with you, but I told him off in one breath, then I left.”

they fell silent.

in a distant, a car honks.

wonwoo looks at the umbrella again.

“do you think I can still—”

“YES,” seungkwan yells.

“but today is a Saturday, I don’t even know where he lives and—”

“let me ask someone,” jeonghan volunteers.

“wait, I—I’m not ready,” wonwoo says, panic rising at every word.

“wonwoo, you’ve made him wait long enough,” jeonghan says, phone over his ears, “hello, hey seungcheol?”

that name sounds oddly familiar.

“ok, cut the crap, do you know where mingyu lives?”

jeonghan hangs up without saying goodbye, sometimes wonwoo wonders if jeonghan has other friends who put up with his attitude.

“XXXX street, 8th floor, number 8-07.”

wonwoo stares at them. seungkwan makes a hand gesture in the air, shaking his head in disbelief then he shouts, “what the fuck jeon wonwoo? GO!”

wonwoo nods, passing the empty casing over, and then frantically running with the umbrella, his shoes smacking on the puddles on the pavement, he could barely hear the noise around him as his hectic breathing gets louder and louder and the thought of seeing mingyu fills his mind completely.

the rest of the journey of how he arrived at mingyu’s doorstep was a blur.

all wonwoo knows is that right now, he’s standing in front of a black slatted wooden door that has a metal lettering on it that read 8-07. his heartbeat in his ears, and his breathing—he needs to control his breathing first. wonwoo tries to even his breath, _ok, I can do this, I can do this,_ he tells himself. in the middle of taking deep breaths, the door swings open, and the wonwoo, the non-filtering speaker whenever he’s panicking frantically spoke,

“I didn’t knock on it, why is the door opening?!”

then he’s looking at mingyu.

mingyu’s hair, black in colour, unstyled, unkempt. mingyu in his comfortable homey clothes. mingyu’s slightly strained, slightly swollen eyes who wouldn’t meet wonwoo’s. his hand drops from the doorknob, reaching behind his neck,

“haha, what…….?” he trails off.

wonwoo deadpans.

“I uh, ordered pizza, so I just, I, thought, um, to check the pizza, I uh, didn’t know, you… yeah,” he lets his tongue slip out, licking his dried lips.

wonwoo stays silent, at this point he isn’t even sure if he’s breathing, he holds the umbrella, tighter, mingyu doesn’t seemed to see it, because he just couldn’t bring himself to look at wonwoo.

wonwoo opens his mouth, “I—” but gets interrupted.

“pizza delivery for kim mingyu?”

wonwoo shivers at the sound of mingyu’s name, he looks over to the pizza guy, terrified for no particular reason, “oh my god…”

the pizza guy stares back at him, quirks an eyebrow then looks back at mingyu again, confused.

“he just… really, likes pizza. Um, yeah, it’s mine, I ordered.”

minutes later, mingyu’s holding onto two boxes of large pizza, “um, want to come in?”

wonwoo nods.

 

+++

 

they were sitting in mingyu’s living room, two boxes of pizza, and a ton of papers on the table, wonwoo picks one up—psychopharmacology.

_what._

“it was on impulse,” mingyu says, “it was on impulse and it was a mistake,” he chuckles.

and wonwoo looks over at him, their eyes met, and wonwoo smiles, he thought he’d never be able to hear mingyu chuckle ever again.

then they fall silent again. wonwoo really thinks he should take up that communication class next semester.

“oh…. the umbrella………………….” mingyu says quietly.

wonwoo smiles, “yeah, t-the umbrella,” he says, choking up while nodding his head.

then the tears start falling, and he sees mingyu panicking in blurry visions, “sorry,” he blurts out in between, clutching onto the umbrella tighter.

god, he feels like an idiot.

mingyu chuckles and wonwoo turns around looking at him in disbelief, “you know,” he starts, his hands now on wonwoo’s, “I just thought of so many ways to make you feel bad when I was sad myself, because you wouldn’t let me explain myself, and it’s just kind of funny, that now you’re crying, I really, just want to hold you.”

wonwoo smiles, choking up in tears, “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.”

and while he chokes up in those words, mingyu moves closer to him, holding him in his embrace, and then he pulls them back, leaning back against the sofa.

“jeonghan said my existence was hurting you,” mingyu says softly, playing with wonwoo’s fingers.

“sorry, it’s not true.”

“he also said, if I didn’t stop chasing after you, he’d cut off my dick.”

wonwoo laughs. _sounds exactly like what jeonghan would say._

“I wasn’t really… I mean he wouldn’t do that, but I really thought I’d have done the worst thing to you ever. I mean I really shouldn’t have kissed you because of some stupid dare.”

wonwoo doesn’t say anything, he stretches his fingers out, and mingyu holds his hands over, filling up the gaps between wonwoo’s fingers with his.

“I had it all planned, I was gonna tell you after the party, I was gonna walk you back. I mean initially it was to ask you to open the umbrella, but then you know—the party, and I thought hey would be nice to see first-hand reaction too.”

wonwoo laughs, “it was my fault too, I shouldn’t have been so quick to jump into conclusions.”

“no, you had every right.”

“mingyu—”

“I knew about what you went through wonwoo, but I was a little tipsy, and I honestly—I do stupid things, and I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since you gave me back my hoodie, so I just, I was stupid. and you looked, well you looked really, really, hot. so, I kissed you stupidly.”

“why are you making it seem as if kissing me is stupid?”

“no!” mingyu panics, “no, timing, timing is stupid. if anything, I am stupid, the party is stupid. should’ve stuck with the umbrella plan. fuck…”

wonwoo laughs, shaking his head, he looks up at mingyu, face inches away from mingyu’s, “I like you, mingyu,” he says softly, “as a matter of fact, I’m in love with you.”

mingyu smiles, and oh, it was gentle and warm, wonwoo remembers about the slow walk he had with mingyu that night before, how mingyu held his hand and tucked it in the pocket of his coat. he thinks about how they first met, how mingyu literally poured a sachet of salt into his coffee and asked him _how did it taste_.

mingyu leans in, kissing wonwoo’s lips very carefully. a soft peck. then he parts, staying close, their nose touching.

wonwoo could see his eyelashes every time he blinks, and he still smells like peach.

mingyu smiles, “and I love you too.”

 

+++

 

“why psych though?”

 

“I needed distraction okay, please don’t laugh, wonwoo… stop laughing.”

 

+++

 

(seungkwan)

I hope he updates us

 

(jeonghan)

I don’t really want to hear about the sex life of jeon wonwoo

 

(seungkwan)

not that!!!!

oh my god!!!!!

why would you…. I oh my god

 

(wonwoo)

guys, would you please

(seungkwan)

I DID NOT START IT

 

(jeonghan)

how’d it go

 

(wonwoo)

_Photo._

(seungkwan)

AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

(jeonghan)

the sun shall rise.

 

-

mingyu’s phone

 

(seungkwan) 5:33PM

take good care of him.

 

(jeonghan) 5:36PM

if you think I was joking before, I was not, if he comes crying because you done something, then prepare yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am a horrible person.  
> sorry it took so long. like at this point, i dont even think sorry is enough.  
> i had some setbacks in life, i am having new setbacks in life, but my point is, i've gotten myself together, and i'm ready to present you the last chapter of this work. i poured salt and tears into. hahahah laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame  
> i'm so sorry it took so long.  
> thank you for reading it and thank you for staying with me until the end of my work! i totally got the umbrella reference from a chinese manhua called 'tamen de gushi' it was from one of chapters, i can't remember which but it had me laughing so hard after i read it years ago, and it was so deeply ingrained in my brain bc i just thought it was super cute and totally comedy material and one day while plotting this i thought, yo this is it, this gonna be implied, written and posted. and i know i always stray from whatever the hell i have in my head but i managed to kept the umbrella reference in. c:  
> so, here it is.  
> initially, the plan was really just about salt and coffee.  
> i just, things always spirals the other way. 
> 
> if you wish to read more meanie works from me, i have tons of them bc i only write about them mostly bc i am a trash. please support them as well! :D 
> 
> it was a good ol ride, once again, thank you so so much! for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. it really, really means a lot to me. until then, see you!!!


End file.
